I am new here so please bear with me. She had a TIA in 09 and she is having terrible headaches and I can't get her to go to the doctor. Everytime we schedule an appt she comes up with a reason why she doesn't need to go...what do I do???? Wait until another ambulance needs to be called? Please, any help is appreciated.
I know you are doing the best you can for your mom. It is hard to see our parents age and at the same time fail to take the steps to safeguard their health.
My father was also very stubborn. Are you able to find a doctor that will make house calls? Or do you think getting a social worker to come to the house to talk to your mom about your concerns might help. Sometimes family members takes instructions better when it comes from someone else.
I know we don't want to fight with our parents and we only want the best for them. I hope you can find a way to persuade your mom to see the doctor. The one thing I wish I said to my dad was "dad I really love you and want you with us as long as possible." Instead it was this constant battle, but I hope you find a better balance.
I was on the crux of making a dentist appt. without telling her in advance, and now I going to do it, thanks blannie! She keeps refusing but seriously needs to go. And like ceecee, I now have two offices that will call her for an appt. when I ask, instead of asking Mom week after week if she’s made an appt. yet. To cdn’s point, your mom’s insurance likely covers nurse visits on some schedule, if her doctor orders it. Mom’s doc is ready to order that whenever I ask... it helps that he has an assistant I communicate with, maybe a lot of docs have that now - she’s not his nurse or tech. And thank goodness because I’d never get through to him.
On this site I’ve learned that some fibbing, sleight of hand, etc., are all on the table because the elder is not thinking clearly. So use whatever method you need to get her in. Good luck!
I would make appointments and the day before I'd get a call from Mom saying not to bother as she'd cancelled the appointment.
I believe in 'free choice' and believed my mother had the right - but basically she committed suicide by stopping all her medicines 6 months before passing. Stubborn doesn't even come close. I can still see and hear her 'proudly!' exclaiming at the doctor's office that she'd stopped all medications 6 months earlier. No one knew. A week later I sat with her as she passed.
Good Luck to you - you are in my prayers.
P.S. My mother was 82 when she passed, leaving my father in my care. It wasn't easy as I had to learn as I went - but Dad went on to live another 7.5 years with me assisting him.
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