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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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She's also said she hates me and wants to kill me. She lies and manipulates. She has become unbearable. But she is now hurting herself. Punching walls. Not taking any of her medications.
Your mom is pretty young. Are you living with her? If so for your own safety you need to begin plans to move out. If she is living with you and she is not competent you need to look for Assisted Living or Memory Care for her. (If she has been diagnosed with dementia MC would be the best option) BUT first she needs to be medicated for the outbursts, anger, anxiety. If she does not have dementia and it is mental illness she needs to be properly diagnosed and again medicated for her safety as well as those around her. The next time she threatens you or to self harm you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid she is going to harm herself or harm you or another member of the household. If she it transported to the hospital you MUST tell the hospital Social Worker that she can not be discharge to home as it is unsafe. You are afraid she will harm you or herself. Do not back down on this!!!
I hate to say it but, and this will be difficult for you, If she is mentally ill you can not help her she has to be professionally treated. If she has dementia she needs to be properly diagnosed and for your safety and hers she needs to be placed in Memory Care and to do this she will have to be medicated for the anxiety/outbursts. Finding the correct diagnosis is important.
A little more info in your profile or adding to your post will help with better responses.
Welcome to forum, Clm. We need more information from you in order to help with your situation. Does your Mother live with you? Does your Mother have a diagnosed dementia or mental illness? For how long has your Mom been suffering from this current condition? Meanwhile do know that you can call an ambulance. Tell them Mom has physically attacked you and is out of control. Ask she be transported to the hospital for assessment. Once Mom is at the hospital ask for a nurse manager or a social worker to meet with you at once and fill them in on what is happening. This is your best route to assessment and also to placement if that is the ultimate best choice.
Hello Clm1209 Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that your mom is so miserable. It must be awful to witness. It certainly sounds like your mother is suffering from a psychiatric disorder but with her not being willing to visit a doctor it is hard to know if it could be an infection or other issue. Look up involuntary commitment for Illinois. Often referred to as the Baker Act. Don’t be afraid to get her help. Neither of you sound safe in her current condition.
1. Stop trying to fix her. Get away from the unsafe situation. 2. Find a support group. NAMI has support groups in every state and a national presence in the US. Their website is https://nami.org. They have a helpline you can call. 3. If there is a Community Services Board in your state, call them.
Get a heavy duty rubber door wedge for your bedroom and for when you're in the bathroom. Try to get a baby cam. Record her saying that she wants to kill you. Call your local Area Agency on Aging. Go to any nursing home or hospital if you don't know where to start and tell them you need to talk to a social worker for recommendations. It is understandable that you think that you have to care for her but you are not equipped. I'm so sorry for your troubles.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Are you living with her?
If so for your own safety you need to begin plans to move out.
If she is living with you and she is not competent you need to look for Assisted Living or Memory Care for her. (If she has been diagnosed with dementia MC would be the best option)
BUT first she needs to be medicated for the outbursts, anger, anxiety.
If she does not have dementia and it is mental illness she needs to be properly diagnosed and again medicated for her safety as well as those around her.
The next time she threatens you or to self harm you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid she is going to harm herself or harm you or another member of the household.
If she it transported to the hospital you MUST tell the hospital Social Worker that she can not be discharge to home as it is unsafe. You are afraid she will harm you or herself. Do not back down on this!!!
I hate to say it but, and this will be difficult for you,
If she is mentally ill you can not help her she has to be professionally treated.
If she has dementia she needs to be properly diagnosed and for your safety and hers she needs to be placed in Memory Care and to do this she will have to be medicated for the anxiety/outbursts. Finding the correct diagnosis is important.
A little more info in your profile or adding to your post will help with better responses.
Does your Mother live with you?
Does your Mother have a diagnosed dementia or mental illness?
For how long has your Mom been suffering from this current condition?
Meanwhile do know that you can call an ambulance. Tell them Mom has physically attacked you and is out of control. Ask she be transported to the hospital for assessment.
Once Mom is at the hospital ask for a nurse manager or a social worker to meet with you at once and fill them in on what is happening.
This is your best route to assessment and also to placement if that is the ultimate best choice.
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that your mom is so miserable. It must be awful to witness.
It certainly sounds like your mother is suffering from a psychiatric disorder but with her not being willing to visit a doctor it is hard to know if it could be an infection or other issue.
Look up involuntary commitment for Illinois. Often referred to as the Baker Act.
Don’t be afraid to get her help. Neither of you sound safe in her current condition.
2. Find a support group. NAMI has support groups in every state and a national presence in the US. Their website is https://nami.org. They have a helpline you can call.
3. If there is a Community Services Board in your state, call them.
It is understandable that you think that you have to care for her but you are not equipped.
I'm so sorry for your troubles.
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