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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Or if her parents know where she is. She lives in Assisted Living. How do we handle this? What should we say to her? This is all she talks about and we just want to get her mind switched to something else if that's possible.
My Mom was always a pretty logical person, so when she first asked about her parents I told her that “gran and grandpa weren’t with us anymore.” She’d ask are they dead, and I’d tell her, well grandpa was born in 1896 so he’d be 123 years old! She’s say Oh that’s too old! And we’d both laugh, and say we missed him, and talk about some fun times. When she asked about her brother who had passed away years ago, I’d tell her that he wasn’t with us anymore either, but his picture was right here on her wall over her bed, watching down on her and making sure she was good. She’d say Like Santa? And we’d both laugh again. Of course I’d have to tell her this stuff occasionally, but she seemed to accept it at the time, and I never had to fib luckily. Maybe a large picture of her parents on the wall or her nightstand and a similar story might trigger some happy memories and calm down the questions for a bit.
Thanks everyone! I did kinda tell my mom last week that her parents had passed and did it gently. I told her I was not the most religious person (and we both laughed) but that her parents were looking down and knew exactly where she was and they were always looking over her and thrilled and happy to know that she was safe and had family around. That seemed to settle her for a while but she's back to talking about them. This is so sad.
My mom asked for her folks and a sister (passed in 1953) often. A couple of times I told her that they were deceased, each time it was as if she had never heard the news before. The last time I tried to tell her they were gone, she became very angry, upset and asked why hadn't she been told. Then moved on to they were on vacation, they were coming for a visit next week, etc...😕
Hi Elfc158, I think this is common in memory care/assisted living facilities so try not to stress too much about it. I also think alvadeer has great advice on this and many other topics:) I do want to caution to be mindful when attempting to explain that parents are deceased or other loved ones. Pay attention to how she is reacting, it may be too much for her to handle in her stage of dementia and in that case redirection may be the only appropriate answer.
AD is absolutely correct. You cannot convince someone with dementia that what is in their mind isn’t the way it is. My mother wanted to go home and sit on the porch with her parents in the 1920’s. She invited me to come along. I told her that “Mommy” had gone shopping and “Daddy” was at work, so there was no one at home. She accepted that even though it broke my heart to tell her that. It’s just the way it has to be. Not ever easy, , but necessary.
I agree with AlvaDeer. My DW, Luz, was calling out for her Mother at one time and I explained to her that Nanay was dead. I explained to her also that one of her sisters had passed as well as her Father. She cried and so did I but it never happened again.
You can attempt to redirect the conversation, but honestly there is not a whole lot you can do about this other than to gentle tell her over and over again that she is now ____ years old, and that her mother died ____ years ago and her father died ____ years ago. She will not really hear or absorb what you say, in all likelihood,but there is not a lot else to do. Hopefully she will focus on something else. Does she like dogs, cats? There are some nifty little animals out there now that sit on a bed and actually "breathe". Try to refocus her one something else. Sometimes folding washclothes ("Could you help me; I can't catch up") refocuses. So sorry. Not a lot to be done.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mom asked for her folks and a sister (passed in 1953) often. A couple of times I told her that they were deceased, each time it was as if she had never heard the news before. The last time I tried to tell her they were gone, she became very angry, upset and asked why hadn't she been told. Then moved on to they were on vacation, they were coming for a visit next week, etc...😕