Mom is 82 and has vascular dementia. During the past three weeks she is barely eating enough to feed a bird. I brought her some soup and chicken tenders yesterday and she did eat some but only about 25%. Her blood work and labs were excellent its just she keeps getting dehydrated since she's not eating and drinking enough. Any advice? Is this a good option for mom?
Best Wishes to you in getting through the coming days, weeks, and months. It is sad and difficult to go through a beloved parent’s decline no matter how much help and support there is.
If the word ‘death’ scares you, perhaps you should talk to a counselor or a church member. Try to accept that ‘death’ is coming, and move your thoughts to what your own life will be like afterwards. This stage will NOT last forever. Best wishes to you and to M, at this difficult time. Yours Margaret
If you have a good hospice agency involved you will be very grateful for all their help and knowledge. Plus it will be extra sets of eyes on her in her facility.
It's a win win for all involved.
I'm sorry that your mom is suffering from having vascular dementia, and I know that you surely don't want her to suffer when she dies.
So let hospice come to moms facility and do an assessment, ask all the questions you want and then take things from there.
Best wishes in doing what is best for your mom.
I used Hospice at home with my Mom who had vascular dementia. They were nice. The primary care would still be with the same parties, Hospice is just a small added comfort.
Ssame with my dad in 2015.
There are folks who are hospice for 2 years. Some graduate off of hospice care if they improve.
So don't be deathly afraid of the services they provide. Make sure to ask questions up front and know that mom will no longer be dragged to the hospital to be poked and prodded while on hospice. My folks were very relieved to get off of THAT rollercoaster and just be left in peace.
Best of luck with a difficult situation.
Hospice means that your mom is dying and that her medical team recognizes that and wishes to make that dying more comfortable for her.
You are asking us if dying is a good option for your mother?
That is something you will not discuss with your mother's doctors and with Hospice.
Dying isn't an option. It is an inevitability. And it seems that your mother's doctors are recognizing that she is now dying.
You do not mention who the POA or Guardian or "decision maker as next of kin" is for your mother. With her dementia she isn't capable of making this decision. But it is not the JOB or the doctor or the nursing home to make this decision, nor of Hospice itself. It is up to your mother if capable, and if not to the POA, the guardian or the next of kin, who it is assumed would know what care your mother wishes to have for her last days on earth.
Do know that Hospice gives medications for comfort, for prevention of anxiety or agitation, and that these medications often CAN and often DO speed death by some moments, hours, days, even weeks. Do you honestly at this point see a point in the suffering your mother is enduring daily?
I wish you the best. I am so sorry. But it is very clear that you know that putting Hospice in place means that it is recognized that your mother is dying and is expected to die within the next six months. That is the law. And again, dying isn't an option. It is a fact. An inevitability. Whether it is speeded by some few days or weeks isn't really the point when there is suffering.