My Uncle is my mother's caregiver and POA and he is refusing to let me see my mom. I was told if I am ever allowed to see her my Uncle has to be in the room with us and I am to sit in a chair by her bed with my hand folded in my lap. I was wondering if this is legal or not? My mom wants to see me but also doesn't want to upset my Uncle. On a side note I am not allowed to know when she is in the hospital she has gotten in trouble for telling me one time because I went to the hospital without telling anyone I was going. Now she can't talk to me on the phone unless I am on speakerphone so my Uncle can hear our conversation. Please I need any advice I can get thank you in advance.
You need to realize that from your Uncle's point of view he is protecting his sister. If your Mom lives with him on his property, then yes, he is in his right to not allow you there. I don't think however he can legally prevent you from seeing her outside of his property. I'm curious though about the hospital incident. How did Mom get in trouble? Trouble by whom? What do you mean by that? What did he do to her? Again, I don't think POA has that authority and I don't know enough about the laws to know if he can prevent you legally from seeing her without a restraining order. I can think of two options, try to play nice with uncle and accommodate his demands so you can see Mom on his terms or go to the authorities, either an attorney or police to see what they would advise.
I will only say this; I cannot know his "side of things" without his posting. But if I were you I would tell my Uncle, "Yes, please. I will do ANYTHING to see my Mom. Can you please tell me what you need from me, and let me know when I can see her?" And then I would show up and I would fold my hands in my lap and I would make it a wonderful visit for my Mom. I would do ANYTHING to be able to visit my Mom again. She is gone for many years, was a wonderful woman, and I would do ANYTHING, even stand on my head for the visit duration".
I am sorry you are going through all this. Family trauma makes things so much more difficult. Do anything you can possibly think of to please your uncle would be my advice for just now, because it appears that he is the Lion at the Gate.
I honestly do not know LEGALLY what your Uncle can do to prevent you seeing your Mom; You might want to buy an hour of time with an Elder Law Attorney to ask if there is any way you can arrange a visit with your Mom legally. At least you would know if there is something you can do.
But I would start by doing whatever I could, offering help and support to the Uncle in his care of the Mom. I am assuming of course that his care of your Mom is good.