I will try to keep this brief - a lot to the story - Older sibling moved in with my mother about 4 years ago. The deal for him was - if he takes care of mom - she's 83 years old - until she passes, then her house and property are his...... He works full time, mom can get around (slowly) and still drives.
The problem is when he moved in he brought all his crap from his house with him - (he is somewhat a hoarder) and I have been after him to clean up his crap now for years. For whatever reasons he has not done this - always say's he will - never does it. Now the house is a fire hazard, a fall hazard and the list goes on. Mom has always catered to him and thinks nothing is wrong - says he takes excellent care of her - I don't really doubt that part as I have seen him with her in action and is acceptable. The problem is the house now - not a clean surface in the entire house - no bedroom set up for him to sleep in - there's a bedroom - you just can't get into it because of all his crap - his crap is all over her house - can't use the kitchen because of it - can't use the dining room because of it - living room is almost the same way. He brought his 2 pit bull dogs with him and the house is now dirty and stinks like the dogs - carpets ruined - general filth everywhere because you can't get to anything to even try to clean.
His name & my name are on the deed to the house along with my mothers.
I found out because she thinks nothing is wrong- and his name is on the deed - I can't kick him out. Mom has ALWAYS catered to him and he's her number 1 son - can't do anything wrong (he's done plenty wrong all his life) and when I even try to talk to her about this - all she does is gives excuses for him - things are never his fault.
I am at my wits end with him and I am always the "bad" guy for - according to her - always harping on him.
I am looking for advice on how to handle this unsafe situation.
Thank you!
Seems it is ok for people to live in dirty, unsafe conditions, but hoarding and animals are first looked after by animal control. Then, animal control makes the unsafe unsanitary conditions report to APS, or the dept. of health and safety.
If the dogs are removed, your brother can work to get them back by making the home clean, safe, and livable.
It is very important that the elderly have a safe space to walk through so they will not fall.
thank you again !
thank yo for your advice !
I have been talking to him about this for 4 years now ............nothing gets done. I'm tired of talking as that does not solve the problem - he just doesn't listen to me. I have thought of hiring a "clean up crew" to haul all his crap to the dump but I know that would be a out right fight.
I have been thinking about calling Social Services about this - maybe they could "lite a fire under him" to get this house back in order.
Any ideas about that plan?
thank you !