I think there is a real need for a new kind of care. Hubby and I need more hours to be a couple and individual time to decompress. Having that kind of care available for 16 hours once or twice a week would really help relieve the stress of having Mom with sundowning, dementia and Parkinsons there all the time without having to put her in a home.
Carers often experience chronic sleep deprivation. At the onset of nighttime. The demons of anxiety, anger, fear, hallucinations and paranoia come out. Night time can be unpredictable, up and down cycles.We need All-Night Care all night respite programs. nightregistry.blogspot
It takes just one person to encourage setting up Night-Care respite for those with dementia.
If YOU are using or involved with a assisted living facility, senior services, day-care, caregivers, senior center, or area agency discuss Night Care programs with your peers.
I don't know how long you have been doing this, but I do wonder how much longer you can maintain this not only for your marriage and personal time, but for your overall health as well. I think it is like 33% of people die before they person they are caring for does. Thus, I think you need more than a night or two break.
My dad has dementia and Parkinsons, but he is more than what one or two people 24/7 can care for. His long term care insurance enables him to stay at home with 24/7 via three caregivers on 8 hour shifts. Unless your mom has that kind of money to provide her more needed care at home so that you can care for yourselves, I don't see any long term solution, depending on her age of course.
Why is having her in a nursing home such a big issue? Has her doctor said anything about her going to a nursing home? My mother was in one that was fine for 4 years. She had dementia and was fully ambulatory from day one.