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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Is it normal to feel guilty? I just put my mother into a nursing home. She threw a fit which I had expected. Told them we had never discussed her Going into one but we had . She made me feel so bad but I didn't know what else to do.
Oh Lauri1, I am soooo glad your mother is settling in! There will probably still be ups and downs, but at least this confirms you did the right thing!
It seems in caregiving we often have the choice of what to feel guilty about. For example, we can feel guilty for giving our loved one drugs for anxiety or we can feel guilty for letting them suffer anxiety. We can feel guilty that they are in care center or guilty that we aren't allowing them to get the best 24-hour care. There is seldom a choice to not feel guilty at all!
I felt regret when we had to place our mother in a nursing home. Regret that she had mobility issues. Regret that she had dementia. Regret that her needs had come to exceed the care that the daughter she lived with could provide. All of these things were sad, but I understood that none of them were my fault. So at least I did not also feel guilt. (Perhaps having lived with my husband with dementia for 10 years had taught me something!) As it turned out, the nursing home was really, really good for my mother, who spent her last two years content.
Come on back, Lauri, and let us know how things progress for your mother.
Well put Rainmom! It is normal to feel guilty but if you have done all you can to keep them healthy at home or in their home and it gets to the point where you just can't give them all the care they require, what other choice do you have.
When I left my mom at the nursing home I felt like a parent feels when they leave their child at kindergarten the first time. It will get easier though. You needn't feel guilty.
It's very normal to feel guilty. It's not a happy occasion and probably qualifies for a spot on a "top ten" worse experiences anyone - both parent and adult child - will go through. While it may seem like splitting hairs, I look at it as feeling badly rather than feeling guilty. Guilt implies you've done some wrong. In mine and my mothers case - I had no choice. For lots of reasons a nursing home was the only possible way for my mother to receive the round the clock, medical attention she required. So I felt badly but not guilty- and recognizing the difference helped.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It seems in caregiving we often have the choice of what to feel guilty about. For example, we can feel guilty for giving our loved one drugs for anxiety or we can feel guilty for letting them suffer anxiety. We can feel guilty that they are in care center or guilty that we aren't allowing them to get the best 24-hour care. There is seldom a choice to not feel guilty at all!
I felt regret when we had to place our mother in a nursing home. Regret that she had mobility issues. Regret that she had dementia. Regret that her needs had come to exceed the care that the daughter she lived with could provide. All of these things were sad, but I understood that none of them were my fault. So at least I did not also feel guilt. (Perhaps having lived with my husband with dementia for 10 years had taught me something!) As it turned out, the nursing home was really, really good for my mother, who spent her last two years content.
Come on back, Lauri, and let us know how things progress for your mother.
When I left my mom at the nursing home I felt like a parent feels when they leave their child at kindergarten the first time. It will get easier though. You needn't feel guilty.