I know everyone says caretakers need a break, but I feel guilty. I live with my 96 yr old grandmother who is in great health, and I'm blessed in that she's still very very independent and I don't have to feed her or dress her, etc., but she does fall sometimes and recently, she's been getting really confused in the evenings (might be a UTILITY -Dr's appt Mon)...I have a brother in Charlotte who hasn't been home in 2 yrs except at Christmas for 2 days, and lots of cousins who, although they're close, don't come by or even call. My mom passed away in `95 so the job`s mine. So, one set of cousins live about 15 minutes from our house (come by to take her out to dinner about once a month - they're the only ones I ever hear from except some who live out of town) have agreed to have her stay with them while I go to the beach for 6 days the week of Easter. She really likes the family and the house is on land next to where she grew up so she's practically in her back yard. And they love her do death. But I'm feeling SICK!! I know they'll take good care of her, and I can't leave her here alone, so I don't know why it making me so nervous? We can't afford to have someone stay with her here in the house which would be ideal, but I Really think once she gets there she's gonna be fine...so why then am I so anxious? I overheard her on the phone yesterday with another cousin saying "I just don't know why she feels like she needs to go off on a vacation?" And ever since, I've been feeling guiltily and guiltier...Logic tells me that if I don't take care of myself I can't take care of her, but how do I justify uprooting her so I can go to the beach? It IS IMPORTANT, right? Any help you can give in helping my brain understand that it it's not only OK,nut NECESSARY to maintain both our health, I would appreciate it. And P.S. I'm so glad to find this forum page...don't know what I didn't think of lookiING online for something like this sooner.:-}
When you walk out the door, don't look back.. Take a deep breath and enjoy..
Tell family not to call you..
You gotta get a break or being a caretaker can make you sick!
Can Carol B. please answer this for us, she is the expert............pleaseeeeeeeee..........
My husband, just this afternoon says: "We are probably going cross country to PA to visit so - and - so in the fall". I said WHAT?????????????????
No, we cannot go, we cannot leave mom. NO NO NONONONONONONO.
He just looked at me puzzled.
I am puzzled...........
CHELEIGH................says: I have SUPPORT from FAMILY members.........Child, runnnnnnnnnnnnn, run like the wind.
Look at us, we got NOBODY. And the ones we got DON'T CARE. Period.
HA!
When I came back, mom said, oh, where were you, as if we had left an hour before to do groceries or something and it had been days..............
So................
R
U
N
and leave the guilt to the ones that should FEEL IT! GGGRRRRR......
m88
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