Mom has been crying (without tears) for hours at a time. It is pretty much a daily occurrence now. We have been giving her Lorazepam at least once per day, but will give it more often now. It doesn't really help, though. The hospice nurse came out yesterday and instructed us to give it to her every 8 hours to see if we can get it to stay in her system longer. In addition, she said to try morphine (small dose) to see if she is in pain. (Mom cannot tell us.)
While Mom seemed to calm down a little during the day yesterday -- she was walking around a little and standing (with assistance, of course), when I went to change her into her pajamas at 5:00, she started crying. She cried until after I left at 7:00. Nothing calms her, except looking at a picture of my granddaughter. Music doesn't help. Talking to her doesn't help. I gave her more morphine at 5:30, but it's obviously not physical pain. So, I will stop that. It appears to me to be her mental state.
When I arrived this morning at 8:00, Mom was quiet. Then the hospice aide came to bathe and dress her. Mom started crying as soon as the aide started changing her clothes. (This seems to be a pattern.) I gave Mom Lorazepam, but at 10:00, she was still crying.
Even though she appears to be talking when she is crying, very little of what she says is understandable. One thing she did say last night while crying, though, was "Daddy." That is what she called her father.
I contacted the hospice nurse this morning and she said she will talk to the doctor. She doesn't feel she has a UTI because the appearance of her urine is fine. Even if the doctor orders a sample, the only way they would get that is with a straight catheter. Mom will not stand for that. She is still a strong fighter.
What the nurse did say was that it could be end-of-life anxiety. How long does that anxiety (on average) tend to last before they give in?
Today, Mom was hard to deal with. I took her to the store, but she was mad because I didn't get what she wanted. Whenever we would go to this one grocery store, she would always check (and usually buy) 12-packs of soda. In this case you had to buy 4 to get the sale price. Since I push her in a wheelchair, there is a limit to what I can buy of anything. Apparently, she was not happy because she took her foot off of the foot plate and caused the wheelchair to jerk forward (first as we were leaving the store, and again in the middle of the parking lot!)... She almost slid out of the chair...
Then, tonight, confusion set it (sundowners...). I kept telling her she couldn't go out the front door (because there are no railings), but you cannot reason with her. I ended up taking her for a ride (in her pjs and slippers) because she wanted to go somewhere... Then I had to force her to go to bed at 9:00 so I could go home. She was not happy....
I think back to last week when I was so upset about the thought of her being on her death bed, to feeling good about the two days she was doing well, then this evening, feeling frustrated when dealing with her dementia-like issues. In addition, I have to deal with my brother talking to Mom like she is a child -- Telling her how to unlock and open the door that I didn't want her to go out of in the first place! --"Turn the little thing in the middle. That's it. Now turn the big knob" ... Grrr....
I'd say it is an emotional roller coaster!
My Mom has the same problems with getting impacted easily. Senna stopped working for her. I give her magnesium 500 mg. One at night and one after breakfast. That seems to keep things running for now. This is a roller coaster ride!
Take Care :)
My real issue now is that the doctor wants her to take 10 mil of Senna Plus twice a day because she gets impacted so easily. Plus, while she was in bed all those days, she had no sense of when she had to go. Now, she doesn’t feel it because it is running out of her... The nurse says they would rather have that than her impacted. I have to change her several times a day now — but not because she tells me.... There has to be a balance here.... This is not fun...
But, on a good note, Mom has still not cried (knock on wood...).
I did just get Mom in her wheelchair for a few minutes today. A few days ago she would walk with assistance. Now she can't walk... She got tired and indicated she wanted to get in bed (as best I could tell that is what she wanted). So, she is back in bed.
That was nice that your Mom told you she loved you. Just hearing that makes it all worth it.
Hugs.
I will try the Haldol again tonight. Can you let me know if you ended up giving your Mom the dosage of the Ativan and Haldol in between and let me know how that went?
Take Care :)
Day 2... I arrived and the aide was here. Mom was quiet, but just staring. She refused breakfast so far. I prayed that God would just take her in her sleep before I got here... I can't stop crying...
onlychild, how old is your Mom? Mine is 94 and has really gone downhill in the past 9 months. She has aphasia. I have been caring for her since I retired last year January (she was still functional until 9 months ago). I don't live with her, but sometimes I think it would easier if I did. I am there most of the time. My brother, who lives with her, said he doesn't want to give her Haldol because he knows of someone's child who was given it for autism... :-/...
We started her on Morphine on Wednesday afternoon, she died Friday afternoon.
I called the hospice nurse and she said to try Haldol tonight and see if that calms her. It is in her kit that has the Morphine. Can you please let us know if anything helps your Mom?
Cwillie, thank you.
There is no time frame on this, Mapotter. No one can predict what’s in the future for Mom. My own mother became more or less comatose and the last time I saw her, 3 of us couldn’t wake her. But your mom has gone the other way. I honestly don’t think she is “crying” even though she may be making sobbing sounds. It’s her way of communicating now, even if only with herself.
My heart hurts for you. I hope you all find some peace some way, some how. Keep posting here, ecause it’s not just me. We ALL care. Xxoo