My DH and I are both 60 and POAs for each other. I never was listed as a. Organ donor, but he’s always checked the box. I’ve told him already that I will not be cooperating should he be on life support and taken off just so a recipients family can be told they get his heart, his liver or whatever if he dies within the requisite 30 minutes while they, the recipient family, are appraised as to his condition while directing their incipient, incessant prayers that the “lords will be done” when their focus is THEIR loved one, not mine. This conflict of interest at such a stressful time is not something I want to deal with.
So my question is, if he remains a potential donor per DMV and I as his POA refuse to let him remain on life support for this purpose, must the doctors do what I say?
We have a legitimate complaint, that being that there is not a transparent process to remove him. Alva’s advice was decent in that a witnessed letter placed in his chart should be enough, but then we have Mac saying that she’s seen families actually be forced into this by that donor marker on his dl.
Once a person decides that they don’t want to be a donor, the legal recording of this fact should be as painless as possible. We should not even have to lobby our politicians over the nonprofits failure to even respond.
Now, Margaret, if you yourself have chosen to become a donor, your family should be ok with the 30 minutes, the donor walk, the recipient family’s prayerful energy and them reaching out to your fam with letters. If you’re fine with that, great and I honor your choice. I however feel the opposite and request similar tolerance for my choice as opposed to being shamed by recipient families who benefited, especially the one thst volunteered that the donors family was not on board. Did she make the decision as a child too and then have it roll over, out of sight out of mind? Was she cognizant of the burden this put on the donor family? Because most kids are not.
I also think that a definitive discussion needs to be held between potential donors and their families on what exactly the latter’s obligations are. It’s not like I’m saying that no one should do it, I’m just very much saying that a conversation should be had.
Here is the process for legislative changes in the state of Ca.
https://www.counties.org/sites/main/files/file-attachments/v2-tab5_-_legislative_advocacy.pdf
Here is the list of current Ca. Senators with their phone numbers and addresses and a link to find your representative who might advise you.
https://www.senate.ca.gov/senators
Under the Citizens Guide found on the home page you will find a printable flyer you can use as a handout for when you set up your card table in front of your grocery store or over at the senior center or in front of DMV offices or at the PTA meetings. (Do they still have those?). For sure you can use social media to help you find your people who are passionate about your cause.
On this flyer the very first square shows how it all starts with a “concerned citizen” that would be you, PEGGY SUE. Then it goes to your SENATOR. I looked but I didn’t see AGING CARE FORUM, anywhere on this flow chart of how a law gets from CONCERNED CITIZEN to BECOMES LAW so your considerable activist passion might be misspent here when it looks like most of us aren’t CA voters and don’t have the problem you have uncovered.
You have found your CAUSE, now go find your PEOPLE. (This crowd is getting restless).
I might leave out that part about dueling prayers for loved ones. Reminded me of that part of the movie (Bruce Almighty) where Jim Carey (playing the part of GOD)let all the people actually win who were praying to win the lottery (pitiful payout) or the ball games (all games were tied).
Or just slip it in to your pitch selectively. Depending on your crowd. 😇
Let us know the name of the bill when you get it going. We can follow the progress here on this link.
https://legiscan.com/CA/legislation
Good luck.
Oh and I just checked. They have a link where you can look up existing bills in the process. There are currently 225 for “organ donation”. 😱🙂
May be too late to get the bill named for you but you might have a head start on finding your people.
https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billSearchClient.xhtml?session_year=20232024&keyword=%E2%80%9COrgan%2520donation%E2%80%9D&house=Both&author=All&lawCode=All
1) Request removal online at https://register.donatelifecalifornia.org/remove/login
2) Request removal by email at info@donatelifecalifornia.org and follow their reply instructions.
3) Send a physical letter to:
Donate Life California
3940 Industrial Blvd.
West Sacramento, CA 95691
4) Call them at (866) 797-2366
Put a sticker on the driver's license that says "not an organ donor". The next time DH renews his license (sooner if he pays for another license or later at standard renewal), it will already be removed from the DMV database showing DH as a donor and the little dot be gone on the new license.
POA worries solved.