He is 85 years old and was living independently before the stroke. He only weighs 140 lbs but nursing home says it is unsafe to transfer him to toilet. Because of the stroke he lost core strength. The SNF uses a Hoyer lift to transfer him to his wheelchair. He is not really incontineNt because he knows when he needs to go and repeatedly asks to be taken to the toilet but they make him do it in his bed. He has a catheter so toilet would only be needed for pooping. It would hugely increase his quality of life if he could go in the toilet or at least not in the bed. I know he is so humiliated when the aides have to clean him.
Don't you think if the aides thought they could get him to go in the toilet, they would? Ask them about the situation.