I live a hour and half away from my 84 year old mother. Our family of 8 had a brother living with her since his divorce about 15 years ago. When our dad passed away 12 years ago we made the mistake of putting him in as poa.i've need to find out when i've heard about that brother wanting to hit mother ,because she plops herself on the floor when she doesn't want to do something. He has already gotten close to killing her with morphine he got from hospice. He had been starving her almost a week when everybody got word of her to have gotten last rites given to her by priest. Apparently he couldn't give her anymore morphine because someone was in the room every minute of her 8th day of being starved to death.well after being with her a few hours she spoke to one of my other brothers telling him she didn't want to die and started crying. All of a sudden the poa brother was on the phone with her doc asking him whether he should take her to the er. As soon as he got questioned about why all of a sudden hes calling her dr. He got very defensive and pulled the box with the morphine in it and told everyone all he had to do was give her that and she would be gone. Sorry I made my question so long, but maybe knowing about what hes done and gotten away with before someone can advise. Before i forget his daughter was the witness to his wanting to hit mother. Please advise right away,if possible?
Firstly, how do you all this is occurring?
Secondly, does your mother have dementia?
I have a friend whose aunts and uncle were not speaking to her. Her mother had told them that the adult daughter never visited, didn't bring a birthday present...you get the gist.
Turns out my friend was there 6 hours a day, 7 days a week. It wasn't malicious, but some failing seniors have issues with remembering when things happened and will create a story for attention. (Geriatrics or pediatrics, the only difference is body mass!)
Now, practical suggestion, whether or not this sibling has POA.
Can you create a schedule and have one sibling at least visit once a day, or arrange to stay a few days at a time to find out what is truly happening?
You said: "As soon as he got questioned about why all of a sudden hes calling her dr. He got very defensive and pulled the box with the morphine in it and told everyone all he had to do was give her that and she would be gone." In his own words he expressed his intent. Get with the program.
Call the police and report the abuse.
Call Social Services and report the abuse and request that someone check her in the home weekly or more.