Hi! 90 year old mom has 2 cordless cell phones, one in living room and one in bedroom. Lives alone at home. Doesn't walk well.
She won't answer them unless she sees a caller ID (which doesn't always happen) but she doesn't listen to messages either. Not sure if it's inertia or just not caring.
She also has MedicalAlert, but ever since she got the Pendant (to alert someone when she falls), she accidentally triggers it. Then she doesn't answer the phone when they call her to see if she's okay, so first responders come out - only to find Mom sitting in her chair near the window, waving at them.
And often a family member calls, she doesn't answer, and she's fine - she just doesn't answer.
My sisters and I would feel a LOT better about being able to check on Mom via the phone - any tips?
BTS just discovered this forum today and WOW! Thank you.
But I wonder if your mom has 2 cordless phones on a landline. Two cells would seem unlikely.
Our Panasonic cordless landline phones announce the caller’s name. Sometimes the pronunciations are comical but you get used to it. Often additional handsets can be added to the system. If it’s a mobility issue, that may help, as long as she keeps them charged.
TeleCalm has a Facebook site. Clicking on it will get you ads in your feed from all sort of Alzheimer's stores, places, but that's always the way on FB and CAN be a plus when it's not a minus.
TeleCalmProtects.com has a phone that has scam and spam blocking, stops multiple outgoing numbers repeatedly dialed over a short time, has family or facility notification of 911 calls place, and has caregiver app available for families, works on your corded phone, and no internet required.
Good luck finding something that works, and remember, as dementia progresses phones and TV remotes just get too complicated to deal with for our elders.
The Ring cameras I have at my mother’s house have helped me tremendously. If she doesn’t answer the phone or it goes atraight to voicemail, I check the camera to see if there’s been any movement. If I don’t see her on camera, there’s an alarm I can set to go off that makes a noise so she goes to where the camera is. From there, I can have a little conversation with her to let her know the phone is off the hook or whatever the topic may be. It’s a struggle, isn’t it? Your siblings would have to have access to the camera in addition to you. I wouldn’t give access to anyone else.
My Mom also had Phillips alert. Its a box connected the landline. Mom used to hit her button on tables and counters. The operator would come on and ask Mom if she was OK. Mom would just answer the operator. Does your Moms alert call her on a telephone? If so, that kind of defeats the purpose of an alert pendant.
Seems to me Mom may be forgetting how to use a phone. If so, maybe Dementia is setting in. Phones and remotes were one of the first things Mom forgot how to use. If so, time for Mom to go to an AL or caregivers be hired.
Other people on the forum have praised their ability to connect with their loved ones using Alexa,
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=alexa
Alert system, you have your name to call first before sending out police. You should be able to program the alert people into the phones too.
When my aunts Medialert would get accidentally activated, I would get a call, look on the camera and tell them never mind she was fine. The EMS were usually parked right down the street from her and often get there before I could check the cameras. Those times, when I saw they were already there, she would be talking to them in her kitchen having a big ole time. I would call her line, they would answer and confirm all was well.
Cameras are helpful in multiple ways. some are designed so that you can communicate with her. You can see her watching tv. You can see her locking her doors at night, turning off the lamps, etc. on her way to bed.
After she had an aide in the mornings I could see that the aide was with her, making her breakfast etc.
I could also see that when I was asking her to do something over the phone that she would sometimes pretend she was doing it. 😉
Home Health is useful. Nurse comes once a week and check vitals, checks lungs, etc. sets up any pills she takes, reorders them, orders a bathing aid if needed. Orders PT if needed. If she needs it, you can keep the pt going pretty much all the time. She can also get PT in ALF. All this depending on her policy. Traditional part B Medicare covers it.
The Home Health nurse might have detected the Pneumonia.
PT would help with the mobility.
An antidepressant really helps my aunt. She takes Wellbutrin.
Also check your moms feet and her toenails. A visit to the podiatrist can perhaps reveal issues that are interfering with her mobility. Also check her shoes to make sure they are appropriate. A therapist pointed out to me that aunts shoes weren’t what she needed.
I think as soon as an elder can get home health it’s a great benefit and allows them to get used to others coming in and helping. It keeps them out of the ERs and hospitals.
Medicare pays for an audiologist once a year. Aunts hearing is just fine. She just screened her calls as she chose and was her right.
Anything you do, including, ALF, is good for awhile and then adjustments are needed. At a certain age and stage, her care plan will need tweaking. It’s not a one and done even in a NH. So very many things to stay on top of.
He would accidentally dial 911. The system was relatively new then, so when she tried to cancel the call they wouldn’t let her.
When they arrived at her home she would be embarrassed and point to her darling but mischievous son. Hahaha 😆.
I suppose that I would be concerned that she doesn’t answer the phone after her device is triggered.
My mom couldn’t hear well so when the alert company called she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Does your mom have a hearing problem?
Wishing you and your family all the best.
Are the phone and the alert button your only concerns?
Is your mother otherwise very well able to negotiate the world at home, and you feel she is safe to do so?
People are all different. My inlaw does very well at home at 92. My own parents were OK at home into their early 90s.
I don't have any ideas about the devices you mention. Just wondering if your concerns are that there needs to be thoughts or discussion with Mom moving forward. Not certain what her support system is if she is alone daily.
She falls a few times a month; has never hurt herself, but maybe 1/3 of the time she needs to call for help to get up. She can't walk well; uses a walker (most of the time), is supposed to do exercises to strengthen her walking but won't do them. We have outfitted her house with grab bars etc as much as we can.
Once she fell in the hallway & passed out; turns out she had pneumonia and no one noticed. (She lives alone; one sister, in particular, is there a couple of times a week. She gets Mom's groceries & takes her to appointments. Some friends take Mom to church.)
She is beginning to get more confused, like she couldn't remember her zip code not long ago.
She has tremors in her hands that prevent her from doing many things. She just sits & watches TV, maybe plays a game on her computer.
We think she's pretty depressed, she used to be a very outgoing person (she VISITED people in assisted living just to talk to them, and ran a gift shop) - but she doesn't want people to come by.