Who can/will care for someone (my husband) who is violent due to Lewy Body Dementia? The police came yesterday morning and took him to the hospital as he was threatening and trashing the porch.
The police put him down and he got a subdural hematoma (brain bleed) and is now in Trauma ICU 60 miles away where I can't get any info because they are too busy to talk and tell me what is going on. (with coronavirus, I suppose?)
I don't think the memory care unit of the home I had chosen will accept him with the violence. What is my option? Where can I take him? I am now afraid of him.
It is his illness, not him.
You may need an attorney for your husband, as his behavior was caused by his disease, he needs protection, not prosecution.
The attorney may be able to help you get access and fulfill a spouse's role as POA in fact. imo.
The reason I am advising this is because if you say he was taken away by police, that will be perceived as 'separation, or domestic violence'. That status will severely limit your input into his health care.
I am not saying to not tell the truth, but right now you are trying to get information about your husband. Understand? imo.
Hopefully, at that time, he can qualify for an appropriate placement.
Do not allow him to be discharged to home or your care.
Have the Social Worker/discharge planning find a placement.
One cannot live under that kind of fear without it really changing you. You are right to protect yourself. Visits may become something you might want at a later time. Things are so stressful right now.
At this time of isolation due to gov't guidelines re: Covid-19,
visiting will not be advisable, or even allowed. If you do not already have your hub's POA and Hippa permission, as well as POA for medical, it may be hard as his spouse to receive any information.
Does he have any children?
So sorry this has happened, and especially right now.
Take some time to process and understand the limitations you may need to accept for now. Try not to drive yourself crazy attempting to circumvent the rules. I so understand how this will almost be impossible for you, but with help and support, you will get through this with your sanity and health.
Once that is done medications can help the violence, agitation.
You may have to put the placement on hold until he is well enough for the facility, he may have to go to rehab first depending on how severe the injury.
I really don't have any answers, but I suspect that controlling and addressing the bleed is the priority, then testing meds to determine if the LBD can be controlled.
Is this the first time this kind of event has happened? If not, perhaps his history could help medical pros determine what might be appropriate for continued behavior. And I suspect the medical people here will offer better suggestions.
Waiting is going to be hard during this period, especially since the medical staff is overwhelmed with CV testing and care. I found over the years that calling in the late evening, after bedtime, was more effective because days were so busy for the staff.