I recently became my friend's mom's power of attorney.. My friend and I grew up together since we were 7 yrs old. Her mother and my mother are friends and both are 93 yrs old both has dementia. I'm trying to take care of both of them. I'm getting some resistance from my friend which is physically and mentally challenged. I believe she is jealous of the relationship her mother and I have.
The aide that I referred them to, seems to helps but I don't trust her. My friend's mom goes to the bank and have been hiding thousands of dollars in the apartment, the aide finds the money and she do give it to my friend. But I don't know if she gives her everything that she's finds.
They have her mother signing checks and I think my friend has her mom sign the checks to be enough for both her and the aide. My friends mother thinks she don't have enough money and it's hard getting money from her.
Since I have power of attorney I want to stop the checks and pay the aide through CashApp or Zelle, and give my friend a $200 week allowance cos she's on disability. That would alienate the need to write checks. My friends mom have over $200.000 in the bank. I want to make sure she's getting the right care. She don't qualify for medicaid.
I don't know how to tell my friend I have POA. I want to include her in the bill paying and decision making, so she won't feel like I'm taking over.
How should I tell my friend about the POA?
Do you have a legal document that says your friend's mother had made you POA for her? Did your friend's mother sign said paperwork [just worried due to the fact that she has dementia and the stage that she is in], was the paperwork signed in front of a Notary?
Who prepared the Power of Attorney? Was it taken off the Internet? Or did you and your friend's Mother visit an Attorney who then drew up the paperwork?
Any information would be most helpful.
I don't feel her daughter and aide are the right people to take care of her. I see what's going on.
She's like a mother to me since I was 7 and now I'm in my 60's. It bother's me, If anything it's her daughter and aide that's are the elder abusers.
As to the rest of all this, when you are POA you can access legal help to manage your difficult and much needed work for the person who has assigned you to this fiduciary duty. Their money pays for needed professional help. I would take your questions to an Elder Law Attorney. A Forum is all well and good but when you are undertaking legal fiduciary duties it is best to have professional advice for your questions. I sure wish you the best.
Thank you so much for the advice. As soon as I get another aide in place. I will let that one that I don't trust go, no matter how much her daughter likes her. I will also contact an eldercare lawyer.
Tell your friend : "Your mom did not want you to have to worry about paying bills and making tough decisions. She asked me for help with making those decisions and doing paperwork."
I would go to the home and go through everything. See if you can find hidden money.
Instruct the aide not to take her to the bank anymore.
Remove checks, bank books and any other sensitive documents from the home or get a safe that only YOU have access to.
Find another aide that you trust.
This is my friend's mother at the time the aide worked for my mom and I for a week. My friend's mom needed help that's why I recommended her.
My friend likes the aide. It might be hard to go over her heard and fire the aide. But I might do it anyway.