I’m living in such a terrible environment with my mother who has dementia and is getting worse by the week. She throws temper tantrums quite often if she is not catered too constantly. She’s very manipulative and controlling. I am totally done. She needs 24 hr care and I’m ready to put her in a memory care facility. I have shopped around already and am ready to make the move. What if my mom refuses to leave her home? I have POA both the medical and finances. Do I have the power to force her to go?
I agree, Mom may need some kind of medication to calm her. I would consult with a lawyer. It really doesn't seem fair that someone is forced to care for someone when they should be in a facility. If she does need to go to the hospital and hopefully rehab, thats when you tell the SW that you can no longer care for her. That she needs 24/7 care and to send her home would be an unsafe discharge.
You may want to call Adult Protection Services and see if they can evaluate her. That you will no longer care for her and she refuses to go to MC. They maybe able to force her.
Since she has behavioral issues, it might be best to talk to her doctor about a short stay in an inpatient geriatric psych unit for behavior modification and medication. Most memory units loathe taking difficult patients that have not had some prior interventional treatment.
I live in the state of Florida and I went to an elder care attorney not too long ago to ask the very question you are asking now. I also have a durable POA for financial and medical. My mother was diagnosed with dementia in early 2019.
The answer is I can NOT move her against her will unless I go to court and get guardianship. The only other way is if there is a crisis and she ends up in the hospital and it is determined she can't live alone and I refuse to get involved in her care.
I hope your state has better laws. Good luck.
Your POA should state that you have the power to make a residential situation for her.
Without these, your POA will not give you power to make this decision.
I would not tell her, I would say we are going to lunch, have your niece set up her room and then you turn her over to the staff after lunch.
Be sure and tell the facility that you need help with the hand off and that she will probably flip her lid, they know how to deal with these issues.