I have a problem. I'm a man and I take care of my wife's father and mother. They have dementia and my mother-in-law is in a wheelchair, so they needed someone stronger than my wife to care for them. The problem is that my wife's sisters come over and want to talk with me. I thought it was just visiting their parents, but they started leaving quickly when they heard one of them wanting to be brought from the bedroom to where we were. I chalked it up to not being able to stand to see their parents like that, but wanted to see how they were getting along. Then things started getting kinda weird, the one sister came over dressed in tight cloths and as we talked she kept starring at my pants close to me. She left when the mother called, I checked my zipper and every thing was closed, then the other sister came over. She takes over for me at night and we naturally talk at the changing of the gaurd, about how they were that day and she pulled her shirt off taking off her coat over her head. It was a button up coat and she just started laughing and didn't put her shirt back on. I kept my eyes turned. I just said, I'll see you tomorrow and drove home and a third comes over and wants to talk every day and has rubbed my leg. I am happy married. I think I must just be imaging things. I haven't said anything to my wife, but I'm kind of feeling uncomfortable with them. I don't want to be embarrassed by making a false accusation. I have to be around them when they come to visit there parents, but they do have kind of a history. I feel kind of trapped and self-conscious when they are here. I don't want to say anything to them. I try to stay away from them and not be rude, but I am just not sure what to do. I'm sure I must be mistaken gratitude for something else and the other stuff was just an accident with the shirt. Just not sure what to do kinda hard to even write for advice, but I need some.
Being a woman, there has been many times when I have been approached married or not, that men have made a pass or whatever towards me. All they have to do is see the nasty look on my face and they know they're playing OUT OF BOUNDARY with me, sometimes no words are needed because I can get that dirty look but I have spoken up quite angrily and I don't regret it. Most people can tell who's approachable or not and will try play that game with them. If one of my husband's brothers made an inappropriate pass at me I probably should tell him but I know he would whoop their a** and they would have a newer bigger one! I too would rather have peace in the family, I'm just fortunate I have not experienced that and I understand you wanting to keep the peace.
I'm sorry the sisters are not grateful and super appreciative for all that you have been doing and are willing to do... caring for an aging parent has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole 54 years of life !!!
I admire you for stepping up to that role.
I'm choosing to believe now that you are sincere, a little mixed up and need some clarity on what to do and are genuinely seeking help here.
My best wishes to you and keep listening to the others on here, they are very wise!!!
If it was just one sister, then this situation would sound real, but 3.... seriously?
As a victim of hands on sexual harassment decades ago I have NO tolerance for your situation. As the victim I was infuriated! I could be wrong but I think by not telling your Sisters in law to back off you are actually encouraging them! I also think you better tell your wife before someone else tells her! I saw in one of your other posts your wife has nine siblings. Let them figure out how/who needs to care for the elders! You also mentioned you and your wife have a business. I suggest running your business is where you need to be.
Seriously, who takes off a button up coat over their head peeling off their shirt in the process? Then doesn't put their shirt back on? I am not sure this gal would respect boundaries even if you tried to establish them.
You are the one who needs to set the boundries, and those SIL's need to back off, as it's clearly causing you discomfort.
What has your relationship been like, with these SIL's in the past? If it been "all good", then you should have no problem with saying "hey, WTF"? They could be "pranking" you, but all 3, seem a strange coincidence! You might be putting off a "vibe", and haven't set clear boundries, but obviously need to start NOW!
YES, history says it women who often get unfortunately sexually abused by men, but we all know that it goes both ways, and you need to be the one that puts a stop to it.
If they don't know how much this make you uncomfortable, it's time to set them straight! If that doesn't work, then you must your wife, as the longer this goes on, will begin to look like you are playing along. Then the lines become blurred, and then wifey won't know Who to believe!
You've done the right thing asking for help, now it's time to put it into action! Good luck!
Gt, I'd like to believe that you're 100% sincere. Already in this short thread -- where I want to help you, but then I doubt your motives and list reasons why, then I apologize and explain why I feel there are issues with your communication here...
...and you ignore addressing any of that, but instead comment to someone who posted a misspelling... HOW am I supposed to take you seriously, sir?
Good luck to you, and to your family and in laws. If you need help with a caregiving-related issue, this is a great forum for that.