I feel very guilty because I have taking care of my husband for the past 2 1/2 years, we've been married for 51 years, had five beautiful children, and had a great relationsip. We lost our youngest son, 36, to a hit and run driver, a year ago yesterday. We lost our oldest son 6 years ago to quadreplegia after a fall while playing touch football with kids.He was 46. Now I feel like I'm going insane at times, my husband's shadowing, constantly makes me want to scream by the end of the afternoon! He can't dress or shower himself, takes everyones food from their plate, drinks others drinks, is wetting himself regularly, has had a few bm accidents in his disposable (thankfully!) underwear, is very grumpy to our grandaughter, I think she deserves it because she pokes him and he gets upset! She is 11, almost 12 and very spoiled. We haven't had a real conversation in way over a year now. Lately I find myself losing my temper verbally, I would never harm him. I never get a moment to myself, last evening, after a dinner out with our daughter, I took him to the mens room while I went to the ladies room. Sure enough, he walked right in to find me. Luckily there was noone in there at the time! I really need help! I know I'm complaining about common problems with Alzheimers, anyone with any advice will be appreciated! (AtALoss)
In New York at the Hebrew Home they offer night nursing home programs for Alzheimer's patients who are active at night. It's a camp style program that allows caregivers to get a full night's sleep. Maybe there is something like that near you in New Jersey.
Keep looking even in neighboring states. Pennsylvania, for example, is much cheaper than New Jersey. See what's available in the Poconos where, again, it's very peaceful and much more affordable than NJ. You may find a solution that allows you to get respite and your husband to have activities that meet his needs.
I hope you find something that's affordable to give you some much needed rest and relaxation.
And if you want to complain (rather, vent) you've come to the right place.
Is there someone who can stay with your husband while you get away for a few days? Are you able to hire help to come in and take some of the burden off of you? There are also facilities that offer respite care.
Our reserves aren't bottomless, our patience isn't endless, and eventually things catch up to us and we become sick ourselves or unable to get out of bed or our entire life falls down around our ears. We aren't able to keep going and going and going and going without paying a price.