I've been posting for a while, Mom is 94 with progressing dementia and chronic congestive heart failure. She is now on hospice, not be cause of imminent death but because she is failing and she isn't going to get better. I got used to the short term memory deficit and learned how to compensate with her for it - then started the long term memory deficit. She is now progressing babbling about nonsensical things, staring at the ceiling and talking to people and talking about imaginery suitors (who by the way have lots of money :)). She offered to find me some too - no sweat! Ok, I can play along, but it is getting harder to know how to answer her or deal with this phase. I Know that it is affecting me emotionally since it is getting harder and harder to connect with her and often she doesn't understand what I am saying to her. When I need to get through to her for practical reasons, she babbles on about other things. It is disconcerting. I understand it is the progression of the disease (and she is sweet), but sometimes I get tired and don't hve the patience to deal with it or even know what to say to her. I know it is her reality, though it is not reality. All the thoughtful posts on everyone's experiences have been helpful over this past year. Guess I need to hear from the rest of us in the same boat or who have been there. Peace and prayers for all!.
And it works both ways. If you want to tell her about something funny that happened or you have some news about a family member just tell her as you would anyone else, but again, she's not in your world so don't expect an appropriate response or any response at all. You don't need to try to reorient her to explain who or what you're talking about. This is a lesson in futility. And by the time you get her reoriented and tell your story she'll be confused again so just talk.