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Do I and my dad have to respond to my mom’s calling, begging and screaming every time she does so? She calls us repeatedly for the same issues over and over. I spend hours in her room with sitting in a lawn chair bc their room is very small. I don’t mind so much when she’s telling me her stories but when all she does is tell me or ask me about what’s wrong with her I have to get up and leave. She tells me she has to go to the bathroom but she is bedridden. I try to explain to her she doesn’t have to get up to go to the bathroom, she has special underwear like a baby diaper, you can go to the bathroom in bed. I have explained it to her what seems like hundreds of times. She forgets as soon as I stop explaining. Then the process starts all over. My dad is caring for her too and it’s the same for him. We are exhausted.

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The constant calling really drove me crazy, that and not sleeping at night - my mom was greatly helped with mirtazapine, hopefully your doctor can help you find an appropriate medication.
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Jjcares, I just looked at your profile - wow. You have enough on your plate without anyone adding bright ideas about what more you should be doing, eh.

So these are *very* optional! I'm just hoping they might help, I don't mean to give you extra work.

With your mother asking for explanations - draw her simple pictures. You can look up really good visual material online, and use those to explain her brain, heart and kidney problems to her. Of course she won't remember the explanations and she will just ask again; but doodling with a pencil and paper might take your mind off the stress of the thing, and (certainly I found with my mother) captures her attention for a few minutes.

The bathroom issue and the pressure sores and her mobility in general is a bigger deal. You say her room is very small: what equipment do you have in the home for her?

E.g.
Hospital bed
Commode (preferably with wheels)
Hoist
Slide sheet
Stand aid or good sturdy walking frame
Riser-recliner chair
Pressure cushions

Would there, just hypothetically, be room for her bed in the living room - would that create more working space?
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jjcares - your mother has dementia and she repeats things over and over again. It would drive anyone crazy having to answer the same things over and over again.

If I were in your shoes, I'd put on some industrial grade ear plugs or earbuds with music on so I won't have to hear her scream. If she gets upset, that's ok because it'll be temporary and she will forget very soon. Just check on her every hour or so to make sure she's fine, but don't respond to her repeated begging and screaming if you value your sanity.
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You certainly have an enormous amount on your plate, JJ. There are more experienced caregivers who will have more to say, but it seems apparent, despite what you say in your profile, that your parents are not really living independently. Your mother may say she doesn't want to go to a nursing home, but it sounds like her care is too much for you and your dad to handle. Are your parents eligible for Medicaid? A skilled nursing facility could help prevent bedsores, etc. And it would keep your mother from driving you and your dad nuts.

Good luck to you and your family.
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