Mom has a part time helper 6 days a week. She is on dialysis and confined to a wheelchair. She can still get around the house, she is very stubborn. She expects myself and my husband (we both work full time) to be the fill-in if her helper can't come in. She always tells me my brother who is absent from any caregiving has a full time job and it would be just too much to ask him to pitch in.
It's was the old thinking that the daughter should give up work as she had a husband to take care of her compared to the son who has a family that depends on him. No different than back in the corporate world where the same line of thinking was alive and well.... [sigh]
But do NOT - enslave yourself to her simply because you cannot say "no" when she gets mad. This site is full of stories of people who gradually got buffaloed into taking on more and more caregiving and then cannot get out of it.
Your mom is still able to make decisions - she is still able to make plans for herself. This is not your responsibility.
Are you currently going to her house on Sundays? I'm asking because you wrote she has a part-time helper 6 days a week. What are you doing for her now? Who takes her for dialysis?
Here's an idea...just don't tell her that you have retired (once you do retire). I operate on a "need to know" basis with my mother, and it works very well.
Your mother is fine. Rise above any natural irritation with her implied belief that boys have real jobs and girls don't: her believing it don't make it so. Look forward to spending social time with her. Do not plan to become her unpaid servant.
If your mother is mentally healthy you will probably actually be doing her a favor to help her redirect her life in a way that she's not absolutely dependent on you. The dialysis does complicate things admittedly. Is her kidney failure a progressive thing? I know that many people with diabetes are in their final years when they go on dialysis. I don't know about your mother.
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