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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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For someone suffering from dementia or ALZ, their ENTIRE world changes. She is not being selfish in not wanting to be intimate with you. She is quite literally managing daily the changes that are happening to her. She may not even be "living" in the present half the time. She may revert to times like her childhood and behave in a very childlike manner.
The reality is that their personal bubble shrinks tremendously. Its not that she is intentionally depriving you of something that until recently she was happy to share with you. She is not intentionally leaving you.
Her mind is broken and she is not processing things that she has normally dealt with in the same way. It may be all that she can do to make sure she knows that she needs to go to the bathroom to urinate, and to turn off the stove when she cooks, and to not leave the water running. Just BASIC functions.
I have dealt with dementia twice in the last 5 years with different family members. BOTH of them FORGOT who family members were - not estranged or rarely seen - but people they saw ALL the time. Both reverted back to earlier times like their childhood and it was hard for them to live in the present.
PLEASE learn about the normal changes and hard truths about ALZ. Sex probably isn't even crossing her mind - depending on where her mind is at any given time.
Focus on the things that you can both do that make BOTH of you happy.
Does your wife enjoy cuddling and hugs and togetherness? If so, but if she wants nothing further than that, I am afraid that little can be done to MAKE her want more. Given that I am going to assume that, like men anywhere and everywhere over all of time you have some experience in times of great need in taking care of yourself.
I truly am sorry, but dear Dr. Laura is correct: in life, not everything can be fixed.
Your wife, by reason of her Alzheimer’s disease, is quite literally losing her mind. An unimaginable loss, it’s often called the long goodbye. I’d bet sex is the last thing she’s concerned with, rightfully so. Many here would suggest you educate yourself on how to best support and encourage your wife in this huge life event and worry less about sex
If we could all 'worry less about sex' the world would be a very different place. Perhaps try for closeness in bed, without actual sex, and for the rest of it, go to the shop.
My husband is ten years older than me, he is not working anymore, it happens, to everyone at some point in there life. I married an older man, this is to be expected, as it is expected that your wife is not in the mood anymore.
If you accept it , for what it is, two people aging and it is what it is.
What ever you decide I will ask you to please respect your wife's wishes, be affectionate, love her, but don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to.
Also please learn more about Alzheimer's, it sounds as though you need a long class in Alzheimer's, if your going to be your wife's caregiver. Go on YouTube and watch everything you can find.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
For someone suffering from dementia or ALZ, their ENTIRE world changes. She is not being selfish in not wanting to be intimate with you. She is quite literally managing daily the changes that are happening to her. She may not even be "living" in the present half the time. She may revert to times like her childhood and behave in a very childlike manner.
The reality is that their personal bubble shrinks tremendously. Its not that she is intentionally depriving you of something that until recently she was happy to share with you. She is not intentionally leaving you.
Her mind is broken and she is not processing things that she has normally dealt with in the same way. It may be all that she can do to make sure she knows that she needs to go to the bathroom to urinate, and to turn off the stove when she cooks, and to not leave the water running. Just BASIC functions.
I have dealt with dementia twice in the last 5 years with different family members. BOTH of them FORGOT who family members were - not estranged or rarely seen - but people they saw ALL the time. Both reverted back to earlier times like their childhood and it was hard for them to live in the present.
PLEASE learn about the normal changes and hard truths about ALZ. Sex probably isn't even crossing her mind - depending on where her mind is at any given time.
Focus on the things that you can both do that make BOTH of you happy.
When a couple gets old enough it’s bound to happen that one spouse either “ can’t “ or no longer wants to .
You have bigger problems than a lack of sex as her Alzheimer’s progresses . Educate yourself on this horrific condition .
If so, but if she wants nothing further than that, I am afraid that little can be done to MAKE her want more.
Given that I am going to assume that, like men anywhere and everywhere over all of time you have some experience in times of great need in taking care of yourself.
I truly am sorry, but dear Dr. Laura is correct: in life, not everything can be fixed.
If you accept it , for what it is, two people aging and it is what it is.
What ever you decide I will ask you to please respect your wife's wishes, be affectionate, love her, but don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to.
Also please learn more about Alzheimer's, it sounds as though you need a long class in Alzheimer's, if your going to be your wife's caregiver. Go on YouTube and watch everything you can find.
Best of luck