She is in a Memory Care unit where the residents there seem worse than she is. I'm not sure what stage of Alzheimer's she is in. My brother's history is that he is a trooper for about 3 or 4 days and then gone. I know I will end up rescueing my mom whom I love, but I have too much going on with my own life to care for her 24-7. My sister makes me feel guilty, but she and my brother are younger than me, years younger. My sister works and doesn't get home until bedtime. She goes to work around 11 a.m. so that excuses her involvement in daily routines. Help!
Dear group, you've kept me grounded through this and I so much appreciate you all.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Sandy
If your addicted brother is unemployed, he's probably offering to take care of her to get drug money. If he uses drugs out of sheer boredom, caring after Mom might give his life a sense of purpose long enough to go straight; but I wouldn't take that risk no matter how tempting the path of least resistance is.
Have to give him some credit though. At least he pitches in a few days a week. Until he makes a decision to resume his life drug free and you and your sister work as a team, Mom is better off in that orphanage for the elderly that their children often don't want.
Here's a big hug from The Bronx, and I wish you the best my friend. Keep us posted.
-- ED
The answer is NO. She is in a facility and obviously needs to be there. No one can do a 24/7 shift. Most in-home caregivers split the shifts, even with days off. If your sister makes you feel guilty, turn it back on her. She has no more excuse than you do regarding a life. The one thing I've found in having Dad in a facility (after keeping them at home with 24/7 care for 5 years) is that he is safe, has access to nursing and Doctor's care and I don't have to orchestrate it. Selfish, I know, but he is safe. That's good enough for me.
Joanne
From my own experience, a 24/7 facility is the last stop in life's path. The indignity of the nursing home is as an assist in finishing off the weak and disabled.
If your brother thinks it is possible then try it. It may even help him in his own abdication problem by assuming more of the responsibility. What do you have to lose?
Do what is best for your mom, not your brother or sister.