I am living with my elderly mom who is 88 and her aging is causing me anxiety, sadness and depression. I love her with all of my heart and she has done so much for me but I feel as though my life is falling apart from all of the stress. Should I move out to feel at peace ? Or would I feel guilt leaving her alone? I think she would miss having me around but my mental health is suffering. Thank you
Thanks for sharing, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time with your mother. Have you tried just sitting her down over tea and telling her how you feel. Tell her that you are scared of losing her and ask her what thinks. She will probably provide some much-need motherly support and comfort. The transition for her from caregiver to care recipient is probably a complicated one for her as well.
I agree that you do need time apart, maybe you could hire a part-time caregiver so that you could take on an outside volunteer opportunity or job.
Good luck,
Bill
If it is something you really can't handle, then do what you must to be the best person you can be to yourself and to your mom. But it doesn't have to be a drastic move either, if you know where to get the help.
There are solutions. I think you would benefit from joining a caregiver support group as well if you don't have someone or some people who can relate to your experiences.
~Rose
You do not mention what aspects of your mom's aging is causing you stress. If it is her health or the realization that it is not safe for her to be alone for any time, then getting outside help will definitely alleviate that stress. However, if your mom is aging well but this is forcing you to face your own future, then you need to confront your fears and stress head on. Watching your mom handle the joy and sadness of her golden years will provide you with the fortitude and courage to face your own golden years. This is both natural and rare in our present culture. We want to believe we are going to be eternally youthful. Moving out will not only deprive you of a great opportunity, but it will set you up for a very tarnished golden sunset.