I've taken each of my parents to the hospital this year. Mom has been 6-7 times. Dad was there only once, when he fell on the front porch and hit his head, requiring staples. He also broke his nose.
The hospitals sometimes fix one problem while creating another. For instance, Mom's dehydration was resolved in that 5 day visit, but she left there unable to stand or walk, whereas she had done both prior to that.
In her last visit, she didn't get changed unless she asked, so it ended up being only 1 or 2 times daily, whereas at home, I do it at least 3 times daily. She got a UTI, and her peg tube wasn't cleaned so the incision site got nasty.
I'm saying all this because I'm not sure if I should take Dad in or not. He's 94 and fragile and I think hospitals are at their best with more cut-and-dry emergency issues like broken bones, a head gash, someone in labor.
A couple of weeks ago, he developed a cough. I took him to a PCP who put him on antibiotics, and he got well....for about 2 days. Then, Mom got a cough. Then he got his cough back.
Hers sounds like congestion whereas his is a dry cough, which I thought was because he has started heavy mouth breathing while he sleeps. Since he sleeps 20 hours daily, I assume he's drying out his throat. I've tied sashes around his head to keep his mouth closed, and even put elastic ouchless tape over his mouth. That worked at first, but now his breathing has gotten too heavy so nothing works. I have him surrounded by humidifiers that have LED lights with soothing colors so he can see when he goes to the bathroom.
He is wheezing and coughing at all hours, though might go 3-4 hours without coughing.
He has been sleeping long hours all year, so that isn't new, but in the last 2-3 days, he can't even stay awake long enough to get through a bowl of soup. I spoon fed him today but had to keep nudging him awake.
Worse is that he seems to be hallucinating a lot during sleep. He scratches endlessly at his scalp, talks, and reaches out for things. And his eyes are almost always open. Mom says he's always done that, but I've been here a year and haven't seen him do it this much. Today, more than ever, he's having a hard time being oriented to where he is and what is happening around him. Right after giving him his nebulizer meds, I asked him if he knew where he is. He said "yes." I asked "where are you?" He said "I'm in the place where they give medicine."
I'm worried that I'm not doing enough, but don't know what a hospital could do. And I fear him on being on another round of antibiotics this soon after the round just 2 weeks ago.
I share your reservations about taking frail elderly people to hospital unless it's obviously necessary and you have a clear idea of what you expect the hospital to do. But for you to be attempting this job without any advice or help at all is crazy.
Where else can you seek medical advice?
This is just a thought, mainly from the point of view of getting in nursing expertise: have you considered asking for a hospice assessment?
A palliative care consult would keep your parents comfortable and avoid unnecessary hospitalizations. The doctor should have a number you can call.
I had a marvelous experience with mthr's hospice service- she even graduated because she got better! When on hospice, they can treat things without going anywhere. They can also relive pain if the person is actively dieing. Their doctor can asses if either patent is eligible,which means being likely to die in 6 mos. Mthr was on the service for 2 years! Then they can treat them at home -mthr even had a mobile x-ray when she fell. No charge to the family. Your legal and moral duty will be fulfilled.
First indicator that mom had sepsis was lethargy and all three vitals were elevated- by the time I got her to the ER, she nearly needed to be in ICU
I hate to the brunt here, but why on earth would you tie anything around your Dad's head or put tape on his mouth. He could have easily suffocated. Never, ever, do that again. Open mouth breathing while sleeping means your Dad's could have a stuffy nose. This is something a doctor should check out.
As for the cough, it could be anything. From dry air [which can cause dry scalp thus the scratching], and you only need one humidifier in the bedroom and one humidifier where Dad watches TV. Too many could cause mold which can cause someone to cough.
What medication is Dad taking? If Dad is on blood pressure pills, that can cause dry mouth and coughing. Dad could even be developing acid reflex which also causes coughing.
You are doing your very best as your parents age, you have done more than enough. Isn't it time you thought of what is best for you?
Arlene Hutcheon