I have 3 sisters who all live in other states, but my dad recently moved to be near one of us and that turned out to be me. He is 92 with slight cognitive function decline (mostly short term memory loss and some confusion) and lives in Independent Living for now. I take care of driving him places, running errands, handling meds, etc. There are times I feel very overwhelmed because of time demands or situations that arise that need fires put out. My sisters all live out of town. What are ways others here can suggest that would be helpful for them to be a part of his care, life and also be of support to me. Money is not an issue, so financial help is not required. Sometimes I think now that he's here, they are all breathing the sigh of relief as their lives go on as usual. One of my sisters is a joint POA with me, and she is willing to come up anytime and lives the closest of the 3. The others are at quite a distance. I knew when I was the "chosen one" it wouldn't be easy but sometimes it just feels like I'm all alone.
You said he is in an independent living facility. Maybe you could pay for them to provide more services. Is it like an assisted living community? When we had dad in an assisted living we could pay extra for medicine to be done etc.
My brother calls once a week (at my insistence after 12 years of zero support). But I think he only talks to mom for about three minutes, so he doesn't know anything about her day-to-day life. My mom also has very poor short-term memory, so doesn't know how to initiate conversation any more. I wish my brother would take more interest in her life and ask how the amaryllis is doing and how the new sidewalk the facility put in out front is working out. Maybe your sisters can be better. Once they learn the details, they can keep notes to remember themselves what to ask about. It's not hard, it's just a matter of care and concern.
Next ask that they send some cards, pictures, magazines (of interest to dad...Barnes and noble have great hobby, WWII, hunting, travel, mags) that would be fun for dad to look thru and feel special that "my son, Bob sent this to me". Short large print letters are welcome telling about your activities, kids event, or a memory you have of a game, store visit, hunting trip, etc you did with him or your mom.
Sending an occasional treat like his favorite cookie, fudge, sausage, BBQ sauce, sports team hat or pin are also welcome.
How about movie tIckets or restaurant gift card for dad to take you out to dinner.
Pictures, artwork from the grandchildren, a memory scrapbook that he can flip thru with pictures of family, friends, old hangouts dad might remember. Shutterfly can even arrange in a book that would be fun for dad.
Lastly, TIME. Any vacation or leave a sibling can take of a couple days where they come up and let you get away while they stay with dad.
Just some suggestions. My brother lives across the country and is estranged from my mom, but I asked him to call, send cards and a little treat now and again for my sake and he has done so. Every little bit helps.