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Thanks.. for POA advice .. I don’t want to ruin my sisters life.. but moving forward want financial exploitation to stop.. guess need to talk to elder lawyer even if it costs a bit. Is there a family counseling organization that can help with elder parent and sibling issues?
Our elder care attorney was very helpful. After she gave my sister and I legal advice, she said, OK I am off the clock now, I want you two to understand:
1. Do not EVER say you will never put mom in Nursing Home. You cannot tell the future. The only likely guarantee I can give you is that 5 years from now, either your mom will be dead or all 3 of you will be in worse shape, and caring for her at home will be more difficult.
2. Mom cannot make gifts without jeoparding Medicaid eligibility.
My point -- have lawyer explain to mom the consequences
A new POA must be prepared. Maybe sis will make formal by way of a notarized statement withdrawing from POA position.
Is mom competent? If so she can have a new POA prepared leaving sis off. If mom is competent she can allow sis to use the funds. How much money are we talkimg about? Maybe sis can repay it.
Have you asked sis what the checks are for? Maybe she is repaying herself for mom's expenses that she can backup with receipts.
This is tricky. If your mother knew what was happening, your sister has a reasonable argument that mother authorised or allowed it. Sister is still supposed to use the POA for your mother’s benefit, but it does get a bit murky.
In terms of what to do, it would be best if mother cancels the POA to sister immediately. Are they in one document? If so she may need a new document, if the name can't just be crossed out. All the banks, credit cards etc need to be informed that the old POA is not valid, they can’t be expected to guess about it.
Regarding ‘emotionally volatile’, anyone who has been caught out in wrongdoing like this, with major legal consequences, is going to be ‘emotionally volatile’ ie crack a major major meltdown. You can’t use that as a reason not to deal with this.
In terms of ‘alienating family’, you may feel that it’s a decision for you to make, based on what this has done to your mother’s financial situation. Will it stop her getting Medicaid? Or paying for her own care? If so, the alienated family will just have to live with the fall-out, one way or the other – what’s happened can’t be kept secret. If it hasn’t affected mother’s finances badly, perhaps you decide to stop it happening again and leave it at that. Just bear in mind that doing that puts you in the gun legally for ‘aiding and abetting’.
You can sweetly remind her that taking advantage of a vulnerable person is a crime and that the money had better be back in Mom's account before the cops show up.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
1. Do not EVER say you will never put mom in Nursing Home. You cannot tell the future. The only likely guarantee I can give you is that 5 years from now, either your mom will be dead or all 3 of you will be in worse shape, and caring for her at home will be more difficult.
2. Mom cannot make gifts without jeoparding Medicaid eligibility.
My point -- have lawyer explain to mom the consequences
Is mom competent? If so she can have a new POA prepared leaving sis off. If mom is competent she can allow sis to use the funds. How much money are we talkimg about? Maybe sis can repay it.
Have you asked sis what the checks are for? Maybe she is repaying herself for mom's expenses that she can backup with receipts.
In terms of what to do, it would be best if mother cancels the POA to sister immediately. Are they in one document? If so she may need a new document, if the name can't just be crossed out. All the banks, credit cards etc need to be informed that the old POA is not valid, they can’t be expected to guess about it.
Regarding ‘emotionally volatile’, anyone who has been caught out in wrongdoing like this, with major legal consequences, is going to be ‘emotionally volatile’ ie crack a major major meltdown. You can’t use that as a reason not to deal with this.
In terms of ‘alienating family’, you may feel that it’s a decision for you to make, based on what this has done to your mother’s financial situation. Will it stop her getting Medicaid? Or paying for her own care? If so, the alienated family will just have to live with the fall-out, one way or the other – what’s happened can’t be kept secret. If it hasn’t affected mother’s finances badly, perhaps you decide to stop it happening again and leave it at that. Just bear in mind that doing that puts you in the gun legally for ‘aiding and abetting’.
Difficult situation, you have my sympathy.
Astrol, please do not alter the POA in this way, it can cause unnecessary problems for you.
https://www.napsa-now.org/get-informed/what-is-financial-exploitation/