they want her to have inheritance and feel she must work for it to earn it. I think it will be impossible to do with both of them with dementia. she is tired already. Family members have said to respect their wishes and stay out of it. She needs help. She also wants inheritance. My husband and i are health care professionals and could ease the situation greatly. should we respect our parents wishes. We have been told we will be delegated to when the time comes, till then she and her husband are in charge. I am very worried for all of them. My husband and I are not concerned about the inheritance. We are concerned that their resources will not be used to help them. We have offerred financial help and told it was not necessary. Right now my parents are languishing in hospitals because no one can make a decision, due to fatigue. How do i work this out, or do I stay out of it,
What happens when parents need more care than they can reasonably get at home? Will they have to settle for the best Sis can do, because of the "promise"? Or will Sis have to give up what she conscientiously worked for so they can go into a memory care unit, for example?
I suppose if you try to explain the risks to your sister, she will think you are trying to talk her out of the inheritance. Sigh. You are in a no-win situation.
I know that your intentions are pure. But your parents have the right to made (dumb) decisions, and I think you have to step back and let the decision play out. It is kind of you to be willing to help pick up the pieces later, and I suspect that is what you will have to do.