Sister is Executor and will not talk to me, answer an email or answer a text. What can I do?
I have had one mother that I cared for for almost 7 of 13 years with Alzheimer's. She gracefully passed in 2017.
I just spent one month ago 2 weeks in my father's assisted living facility with my father, in his room on a cot. He was on hospice, as my father has lewy body dementia, the start of parkinson's disease as well as primary progressive aphasia.
I have an older sister, and she has always been cordial, but the middle sister will not talk about anything regarding the will, etc. For the last 13 years on and off, I have asked her for an accounting, nothing.
Then the last two years of his life once a month, I would ask for an accounting. Nothing, not even a no.
So, my father has passed on 1/11/2020, and I am so grateful that I was able between my full time work to spend the time with him, and for that I am grateful.
Caregiving, helping people, making a difference is who I am. I am not confrontational, but my sister, when my parents were younger said "ok mom and dad let's go to the bank so I can be on your accounts".
The reality is her husband passed away, and she literally became another person.
So..... here we are... 2 days before my dad's death she sends me a check for 500.00 and says D. Cash this ASAP. L.
So obviously, I have not cashed it, because I am trying to find someone to assist me. I know she has not kept an account, I know my sister, and we were very close until her husband died.
Where in Seattle, WA can I find an attorney to assist me. She also put the house that we all three own (gosh forbid), in an LLC and did not communicate any of that to me.
Clearly, they just want me to go along with everything and keep the peace. Just the way we learned as children. (unfortunately, and god bless her soul as I love her dearly, my mother had an alchol issue when we were children and early adults. Because of our age difference 7 and 9 years, and I am the baby, I was the one that was left alone with my mother, and have quite a different experience on the ending, and the joy of having my mother at her age of 58 become my best friend. The other two sisters always felt guilty for "abandoning me" but the story is the story.
Is my sister qualified to be an executor if she will not speak to me or give me any information about the reading of the will. I have it, and it gives her broad powers, and I know he had assets. But this is believe it or not, not about assets. It is about respecting me as a human being. I am a woman that has been hurt severely by her bullish actions, and her taking all of the family to a lake for the summer and paying for it except my husband and myself. I have two adult boys, that asked her, no response, and two lovely grandchildren. I know later in life, the grandchildren will be people that are able to speak their minds.
What can I do legally, and does anyone know of a good Eldercare Attorney in Washington State.
Thank you.
4 Answers
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My son is an attorney in the Lake Tapps area--but wills are not his forte.
Your sister has the legal obligation to let you know what the will contains. My DH was his father's executor and while he hated every second of doing it, he was meticulous to the nth degree.
IF you feel your sis is cutting you out of the loop--contact an attorney that specializes in wills and trusts. It's sad that families have to go through this kind of stuff, but it's very common.
And yes, act quickly. There is one poster on here who is trying to get $2000 from her mother's estate and her mother died about 10 years ago.
Again, for me, I am very aware of the assets my father had. He had long term care insurance pay for 90% of his assisted living,
I know some might laugh when I say this is not at all about money. It is about respecting me as a beneficiary.
I work with alot of Elderly people and it just feels so sad that she is not able to talk to me. I just have to let it go. or take action.
He did say in his will which i have had for years, that each daughter will share 1/3 of everything share and share alike. He has a million dollar home that is paid off. My goal again was the money if any was going to support Lewy Body Dementia and Primary Progressive Aphasia. I also am a large donor to Alzheimer's, because that is what hit both of my parents, and I bless them each and every day, and my father would want me to always do what is right.
Thanks again.
Absolutely you should get what is bequeathed to you in your father's will.
Now that he is gone if your sister doesn't open probate you can petition the courts to change the executor because she is being derelict in her duties.
It doesn't matter what you want the money for, the point is that dad left a will and that needs to be honored, whether anyone likes it or not.
You should act quickly because it has all the earmarks of foul dealings.
Please, consult with a lawyer. He can ask for an accting when in the hands of the POA and then the Executor.
The executor doesn't have a choice, but POA is obligated to represent the person the same way they would if they were competent. Even a lawyer requesting an accounting doesn't mean that you have to provide it. Legally it's no ones business.
A will is only public when it goes to probate, at that point the executor is obligated to settle the debts of the deceased and then the inheritance gets distributed.
So he may have assets that only cover his debts, or they don't even cover the debt.
Any account that she owned jointly now is hers and not part of his estate. He made that choice years ago. Whatever happened it is what it is.
You can find an certified elder law attorney at www.nelf.org. You probably don't need an elder law attorney though, you need an estate attorney, whomever deals with probate is the best legal advisor.