What am I feeling? I made a list of the benefits to my grandmother to live with my sister and back to her hometown and my grandmother is happy about it. So why am I an emotional wreck? Do I feel like I failed? Do I feel like my sister feels she can do better?
You have a right to your pain and tears right now and I think your comment about taking the rest of the year to regroup is excellent. You deserve it.
Please remember to have compassion for your sister. She may not need it right now or maybe in the next 4 months, but she will need it. It's not an easy job as you well know.
All of your feelings make perfect sense to me. I would be feeling the exact same way. Just know that you have a history with you grandmother and her care. Your sister will be able to talk to you, someone who has been there, and she will truly appreciate your experience and your support. Your job is not done, it's taking a new direction.
My hope for you is that you and your sister will come out of this having a deep sense of mutual respect for each other. That would be the best outcome possible so look towards that. It will happen.
Again, your GM is blessed. So are you and I am praying that you will overcome this loss and appreciate what you have become as a result of your compassion and love. Hugs, Cattails
You've been at this for 3 years. Time for a break. I think sometimes we want to be there until the end and not making it to the finish line can feel like we have failed. Maybe your Grandmother being happy about going back to her home town hurts your heart in some way.
On the other hand, it's so much better that she is happy to make the move and you are getting a chance to reengage with your life. I'm glad your sis is there to step in and take the burden from your shoulders.
Give yourself time to get acclimated to the change. It's like sending your child to live with someone else. I don't mean any disrespect to your grandmother with that comment, it's just that she has been such a huge part of your focus and daily life. On some level, there is bound to be some loss there.
Go visit her and help your sis out from time to time. Your GM is blessed to have you and I hope that the next 3 years are happy for her. I know you do too.
Love, Cattails