Well my sister lives only one hour from my Mom and Step-Dad's house. She has promise to do some premade meals and baking but never did. I have been here for one year taking care of them both I was only supposed to stay for the winter but my Mom begged me to stay longer I once ask my sister if she could come help because my back was sore she blew up and said our Step- Dad's family can do the helping now I am suffering from care burnout but could never tell her this because she will say oh well put Mom in a home etc Last year she was fostering a child but now the child was adopted out she never asks how I am doing rarely answer's my text's I send her update text's about my Mom now last night she sent me a text picture of her and a little boy saying look at our new addition to the family and I was so hurt I know she is only doing it for the extra income some of you might disagree but I know my sister it is all about money and on top of it all she is in denial of her drinking? I could not sleep all night because I was so mad and hurt I want to tell her how I feel but my partner said what for she will just twist it and say well it was your choice to look after Mom etc it is bad enough I am dealing with my manipulative Mother and Stepfather but now this how should I deal with this any advice yes I am getting support caregiver counseling and in the procedure of having a caregiver come in to take care of my Mom and Step Father any advice?
Your sister made different choices. She had every right to, you know. Don't be mad at her; and especially don't seethe inside without speaking clearly to her about - well, all sorts of things. Those airy promises that came to nothing. Her taking on a foster child when she knew - or she might have thought; it's not quite the same - that there was plenty of work to be done for her mother that you needed help with. The thing is, because she's not there she's probably not as aware as you think of how much you're carrying, day in day out, and meanwhile she's excitedly getting on with her life. It's very galling, I completely sympathise with that; but I doubt if she's intentionally rubbing your nose in it.
Ring her up and say "hey, mush, what happened to that pedicure you promised me? I'm dead on my feet with looking after OUR mother all day - I could do with it!" Don't stop talking to her; and don't weigh in with the full list of everything she's done wrong all at once, either - remember, she's not thinking about this all the time. If you drop it all on her in one go she won't take the point on board, she'll just think you're ripping into her unfairly. Start small, one or two specific things you'd like her to do - come round WITH THAT CAKE she promised on a date you agree between you, for example - and hold her to them. At some stage you'll get to the kind of conversation where you can unload more, and maybe - I hope - things will start to turn around.
Are you in a position to care for your mom and stepdad? Are you doing it already on your own and need some help?
or
Your sister has problems of her own.
and/or
Your sister is mentally ill.
There is no point in stewing over what she "should" do ... you cannot control her behavior. You have tried influencing it, which you are certainly entitled to do, but without any success so far.
If you need help (and you do need it and absolutely deserve it) you will have to find it elsewhere. In this regard you are like an only child.
You also need your sleep. Lying awake in anger isn't helping anything. What is more likely to help is seeing a therapist. You deserve all the help you can get!