She is popular with the people she lives around and love the attention she tell me its because she the oldest, also when we ring her she wants to talk for hours and that could exceed 2 hours or more she wonders why the boys being her son. don't ring as often you cant hang up when you say i must go now she changes the subject none of us want to offend so this go on and we get worked up even before we ring how do you handle this sort of control its been going on for many years .
Beautiful you have received good advice but I know it is difficult to break habits of a lifetime especially when it pertains to parents.
Setting boundies is about all you can do. When you call her set the timer for the amount of time you are prepared to spend with her and when it goes off say goodbye.
If she's just long winded and narcissistic, follow the precious advice and hang up after giving her fair warning. Set deadlines when you call, for example, "Hi! I just wanted to check in with you. I've got to leave for my ((name an appointment, real or fictional)) in 15 minutes. What's new with you today?"
The only control you have is over yourself and whether you allow yourself to be abused in this way.
Maybe abuse sounds like a strong word here, but essentially that's what it is -- you give your mother love, respect and tolerance and she takes unfair advantage. I'm not suggesting you stop, but meanwhile you can control the sneak theft of your precious time.
Blessings to all for a peaceful outcome.
I talk to someone who is bipolar and is it nearly impossible to get off the phone with him. I know this is fueled by his disorder and I know him to be a generous, thoughtful person in many respects but self-absorbed in others. He can't help this talkative trait, especially when he is agitated. (I was very surprised when I looked up his condition and discovered that many annoying traits were simply part of it. That helped me be more patient.)
BUT I can't spend limitless time on the phone with him. So after I've given him the time I can, I say, "I have to go in three minutes," and then in three minutes I say, "Sorry, I really have to run now. Call me tomorrow!" and hang up.
Stating that you have to go and hanging up is better, in my mind, than not staying in contact. This has been going on for years, and I doubt you are going to be able to change your mother. Change how you deal with it, to maintain your own sanity!