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I am not POA, am not able to be POA, since my own memory is slipping, which I told the SW, but she insists there is no state guardianship in this state, so someone in the family MUST do it, if/when mom is or becomes unable (dementia). There is no one else; now what? Do I have to move to another state? She would never agree to move, herself.

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My brother went no contact many years ago; I am not able to manage paperwork, even my own, these days, thus not capable of keeping any POA records. Been reading AG a long time, and everyone says DO NOT SIGN anything - not to mention this state has filial responsibility laws. We could not afford to pay any NH or other bills over and above what she has, and don't want to get in a hassle with the state about it.

JoAnn, she wouldn't move anyway, not an option, as most of what I suggest has never been an option.

Mstrbill, I did ask what if there was no one, no family, and the SW said she had no idea what would/could be done - they just lie. She finally said that NH, the one she works for, would not take someone who had no one to sign for them, in case they couldn't (i.e. someone to hold responsible, I'll bet). So I said I'd think about it, hung up, and wandered off, to think about it some other day.... just wondered if anyone else had any knowledge on this subject I'd missed... or any ideas.... thanks!
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mstrbill Sep 2020
I understand completely. And I agree, I think the SW is lying or misleading you. What happens to the elderly and infirm in your State without family? Somebody is taking care of them, there must be State guardianship of some sort. You could see an elder attorney in your State to get a clearer idea.

Yes, on the admission paperwork to the NH, there is wording that if you sign it incorrectly, they could potentially come after you for payment. Usually you sign it as POA, but if you are not POA, you want to sign it somehow that does not bind you to be responsible personally for payment. Others here know better than I do, hopefully they will chime in. Your best bet is to see a good elder attorney, but I know they can be costly.

What if you call her bluff and politely say I'm sorry, I am not able to do that. Tell her you are not mentally competent enough (even if you are). They can't kick her to the curb, they must follow safe discharge procedures if they tell you they can't keep her. And you are not able to care for her either. That is not an option.
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Medicaid does not move from state to state. So moving won't solve your problem.

Is there no one in the family who could do this?
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So here is a hypothetical situation you can ask the SW. What if there was no family? What then? What if family was estranged? I'm curious what her answer is. Anyway, what is the issue you have with signing a few papers. What exactly does that require you to do? What are your worries?
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