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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Rainmom, That sounds like much of a success story! One cannot go to 'group' forever. To have a friend like that is awesome!!! You must have been a good friend in return.
Sendme- When my son was first diagnosed with autism I already had the cp diagnois and "the doaner" had already left - so I reacted by drinking. I was getting a lot of literature in the mail regarding autism and I mostly didn't read it - but by chance I noticed a small blurb in an autism newsletter about a support group that was collecting bottles and cans for a fund raiser. Now, I had no intention of joining a support group but I could no longer walk in my garage because of all the beer bottles - so I called them. A tiny woman in a big truck came with her preteen autistic son - he got out of the truck and went immediately to my flower beds and began sifting the bark dust - it totally freaked me out. The woman must have seen my face, seen the beer bottles and she immediately began taking me under her wing. I don't think I'd be here today if it weren't for her. It was a small support group consisting of moms - they taught me how to navigate the school districts, the specialists - everything. Unfortunately the group disbanded after a few years. Today my closest friend is a woman I met in the group. She went on to own group homes for adults with disabilities, primarily autism. About 18 months ago she expanded her business to include in-home care. It's through her that someone comes four days a week and takes Rainman out and about. Her daughter, whom I've known since about age five is Rainmans primary caregiver- needless to say - I trust her! Sooo - to answer your question- finally - yes, I use to go to a support group but not in many years. As what typically happens to parents and caregivers like me, all my old friends- the ones with typical lives - have fallen away. Now the few friends I have are moms like me and I still have them when I need help with Rainman. Although I have to say - these days life with Rainman is a picnic compared to dealing with my mother! Sorry for the long post! BTW - it was $37 worth of beer bottles. They still tease me about it all these years later!
Rainmom, I understand! Believe me, I can identify too. In the area of Autism, the commonly used phrase for Asperger's is to state "high functioning", if that is the case. I don't think it refers to the family or caregiving Mom, as in your case. Just to devote your life to your son is admirable! Have you ever tried autism support groups for yourself?
Guess I will just bow out of this discussion, since I am not sending anyone away to a home anytime soon. Plans panic me out too. So will discussing it.
LindaSusan - you are the future me. I am 54, hubby 51 and our son is almost 24. "Rainman" as I call him here, has severe autism and minor cerebral palsy- he functions at about a two yr old level. Rainman is an only child and we are not close to any family. Worrying about our sons future - how long we will be able to care for him at home, who will take care of him when we no longer can - it is my worst fear. Thinking about it can literally send me into a full on panic attack and/or sick to the point of vomitting. Needless to say, I avoid thinking about it, although we do have a loose plan. I will be interested in following your posts and comment. Welcome -
Hugs to you. Yes, of course it is painful. Do you have other children?
Letting go is the role of a parent, whether the children have special needs or not. We know it is our job to get them out into the world, but that first day of school is thrilling and also hurts. Their first day on a job we are proud and also a little sad. If they go away to college, that hurts. When they marry and move away, oh gosh, it is hard to let go!
Letting go is what parents do. It is our job. You may not have had a lot of experience with this if you don't have other children, but, believe me, you'll survive and so will your daughter. Yes, it is hard. Acknowledge the pain. But keep on doing the right thing.
LindaSusan, as I'm sure you are aware you cannot personally care for her forever. The greatest good you can do for her now is get her into a situation where she isn't dependent upon you and yet you can still participate in her life and advocate for her. Someday she won't even have you to visit and advocate for her. Please help her be prepared for that day by gradually letting go now.
Please don't let your own broken heart keep you from doing what is best for your beloved daughter. Put her first. She needs to learn to depend on others.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In the area of Autism, the commonly used phrase for Asperger's is to state "high functioning", if that is the case.
I don't think it refers to the family or caregiving Mom, as in your case.
Just to devote your life to your son is admirable!
Have you ever tried autism support groups for yourself?
My answer: "Yep high functioning".
Sorry to worry you Rainmom, not addressing you, answering the OP's question.
Letting go is the role of a parent, whether the children have special needs or not. We know it is our job to get them out into the world, but that first day of school is thrilling and also hurts. Their first day on a job we are proud and also a little sad. If they go away to college, that hurts. When they marry and move away, oh gosh, it is hard to let go!
Letting go is what parents do. It is our job. You may not have had a lot of experience with this if you don't have other children, but, believe me, you'll survive and so will your daughter. Yes, it is hard. Acknowledge the pain. But keep on doing the right thing.
Please don't let your own broken heart keep you from doing what is best for your beloved daughter. Put her first. She needs to learn to depend on others.