All my husband's siblings work full time. I do not. My husband and I live the closest to his mother, but 2 of the 3 siblings live close enough that they could be doing more for mom. I think they think because I am currently home, that I should have to help her with all her chores, do all her shopping, take her to doc. appts., etc. I even took care of her after heart surgery, and then this last year, a stroke! My husband lost his good-paying job 2 years ago, and finally found an OK job just 6 months ago. I need a real paying job! I'm the type of person that feels "obligated" to be here for her...Why don't they feel the same? She treats me like one of her own. We are very close. She is very appreciative. She gives me a little money here and there or buys our family a dinner out, but I certainly don't expect her pay me. It would be nice if her other kids recognized my efforts! I'm sure, after reading so many postings on this website, that many of you have had this exprience. Any, well, nice, suggestions on how to handle this???
Doing this now can prevent litigation, bad feelings and hurt for all. There are qualified madiators in most metro areas. The process is open, informal, confidential and ultimately cheaper and faster than lawsuits.
I completely understand why they would go on vacation -- from their perspective. Realize the whole family looked forward to it, time away from work was booked (and that is sometimes something you have to request long in advance, especially in summer) and YOU have it covered. Why wouldn't they go? I'm not saying they were right, or that you didn't need help, but just want to help you see the world they way they might be seeing it. The key to all of this is letting them know you CAN'T do it alone anymore. Otherwise, they have no opportunity to change. Good luck!
They need to hear that you need help now. That you'd like to look for a job. That you need to get help with their mother. Then offer concrete suggestions for them to pick up...don't leave it general. "she needs an outting every week...can you take her shopping every other week?" etc. Be patient while they learn how to step in and help. Until they start doing it, they have no idea what you've been doing. Even if you think they should.