Our mother is living independently with moderate dementia. She has an aide visit 2 days a week for 2 hours, but won't let her do anything. She does not want any help but is no longer cooking, cleaning and recently went for a walk to the neighbors at dusk without her walker. She can understand what we tell her, but her reasoning is no longer sound. We would like for someone to spend much more time at her house. However, she is adamantly opposed. How do we talk to her? What do we do?
You are probably in for a tough (adamant) time, and a lot depends on you for a happy transition to whatever direction you go. You know it's because you care.
Good luck and God Bless your Mom & you
Does she had a med alert system in the house? Does she have an ID bracelet for when she walks, with or without her walker?
My 91-year-old mother, mild cognitive impairment, lives alone in a senior/handicap appartment building. She doesn't think she needs help, either, but we've simply arranged it. She really shouldn't use the stove. She now gets meals on wheels once a day, and has microwavable food for the other meals. A nurse comes to see to her meds, check her vitals, etc. every two weeks, who can also trim her toenails. She has a homemaking service once a week to change her bed linens and do light housekeeping. One son visits her 3 or 4 times a week, 2 daughters visit her once a week and do her shopping.
Even though she doesn't think she needs all this, we would not be comfortable with less. We just arranged it. When the social worker interviewed her and asked if she needed meals on wheels she said no, and one of us kids stool behind her and nodded yes, yes, yes.
Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
It is all in the way you approach it. This is where psychology comes in handy!!! Perhaps a distant "cousin" is coming for a visit and needs a place to stay? For an extended visit. Hmmmm? If you make her think that she is making the decision to be a gracious hostess and let her plan a welcoming tea party, it could be Eureka! They are cagey, like a cat you are trying to catch, they have years of "guilt-trip" practice. Did you think it would be easy? haha! You have come to the right place. You will get lots of good advice:) Good Luck, dj!
Hugs, Christina