He passed away on July 26th. I now not only grieve his loss, but now live with the guilt of not doing more to help him. The last year and a half he refused going to his doctor visits and he became very reclusive. He wanted to be left alone and I let him be. I have read recently in a book about dying that this could have been the beginning stage of the dying process. I have much to celebrate about his life and our four children and 7 grandchildren, but I agonize over what more I could have done and sometimes been upset with him about his constant demands. Reaching out once again to those who have experienced the same.
I am sorry for your loss...maybe grief counseling would help. You are not alone.
Hugs.
I feel she still has some time left, even though she’s been on hospice for 4 months. If I knew she was really slowing down, I would try to keep her home. But she is still too mentally active in this world and I’m not feeling like she will be leaving anytime soon. I need a break and I have to think of myself without guilt.
Love,
Llamalover47
I think of her a lot. some memories bring on the tears and I apolagise to her frequently.
Recently I have thought of the better times we had together from years ago. Those thoughts make me proud that I married her.
I have started sort of a scrap book of her. It is more than pictures. I have her certificates and accomplishments in it. I even put a picture of her on computer screen saver.
It helps if you have someone to talk to and share those memories with.
It will be difficult to talk and not say "WE' did this or that. So be it. After fifty years you cannot and should not try to remove that person from your conversations.
Cherise the memories and thank God for bringing the two of you together.
God bless you for all that you have done.
I think the same thing you do.......what more can I do to help her?
It will never be enough because we have no control over it. You did the best you could and be happy with it.
God is in control and he knows who you are.
Love yourself, hug yourself and remember only the good times you spent together.💖💖💖
Every time we make a decision it's under parameters that we tend to re-write in hindsight. It's the smallest of details that we omit. Were we healthy, perhaps we had a brewing unknown sickness ourselves, when we decided to do or not do something..... It's impossible to truly know, you did what you thought was best at the time decisions were made.💐💐 You will never be the same, and that's okay, "It's Ok that You're Not Ok" 😔It's okay, that we're not okay when loved ones die, even as society insists that we must be okay 🦋 when everything drastically changes. 😔🥺
Sometimes honoring someone else wishes can be hard especially when what they want for themselves is different from what you want for them. Individuals has a right to make their own decisions even if others think that the decisions they are making are poor decisions.
Although, your husband had vascular dementia that does not automatically mean that he was not capable of making decisions for himself. Individuals with early to mid stage dementia can often times express their wishes and when they do family should honor their decision.
I applaud you for allowing your husband to take charge of his own choices. I wish you well.