My son just told me that he is thinking of not coming home for Thanksgiving. He is 30 and we lost his beloved Gramma a few weeks ago. Our family is dwindling and those who are still here are missing Gramma and Grandpa. Other relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins) are going else where... to their in-laws for the first time this year. The services for Gramma have not taken place yet, because of the hurricane. We are grieving and sad. We are thinking of running a 5K charity run and also going to a food kitchen to serve others. If anyone has other good ideas for how to handle holidays after loss of a loved one, please share your good experiences. Thank you.
My son (30) is not communicating much. His step mom said he may go to his dad's tonight, because a friend nearby is having a party. I don't know why he isn't communicating. He is typically quiet, but he has lots, and lots of friends and a good job, so I thing he is sad, but OK.
I am sure he is VERY sad about my mom and his gramma. They were very close. I don't know why he was so close to her, because he doesn't speak to me much. I think it may be that he feels his dad and his step mom are his parents and so he felt more comfortable getting close to my mother than to me... It's complicated and since he doesn't talk too much with me, it's hard for me to know. When I try to connect with him, he just gets annoyed.
I have two boys. The other son is close to me, communicative and loving and he acknowledges the situation with his older brother... the one who doesn't speak with me much. They both say they love me, as I do them.
I believe my oldest son is very sad about gramma and it helps to read your experiences to understand why he may be staying away, because it is easy for me to just feel more hurt and alone, when he may need to find another way to be happy.
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and experiences. It really, really helps me consider other possibilities...
And if you are not joyful and thankful every minute, that is OK, too. Mourning serves a very real need.