We recently lost my wife and mother of 3. Grandmother of 4. Maybe this isn’t the platform, but it definitely is an aging care event.
We were told how much the obituary would cost. Not covered by the insurance policy that we bought for “peace of mind”.
almost 4 figures. Didn’t even include a picture.
I should feel guilty, but refused to have it done. It’s not like she was into liberal politics.
The newspaper has lost most of its readers as circulation has a new bottom every month. She would have been appalled by the $$’s.
Social Media did a better job and didn’t cost a penny more than its monthly cost to subscribers. It’s time to bury what doesn’t produce, or am I going to regret it?
Upload pictures, audio, music etc. for a permanent tribute. Price about $50 payable after you like what you've created.
At any rate, as far as a printed obituary lasting forever goes... one can take a screen shot, or copy and paste, a social media post and either print it out or save it to the cloud. The internet is also "forever," as recent, well-publicized events have shown.
i spent the money and they screwed it up
wish I had not
When my mother died, I provided the Cremation Society with the obituary that I had already composed, along with a photograph. The Society published the obituary and photo on its website, with "share" links to Facebook, Twitter, etc. There was no additional charge for this service, and Mama would have been proud that I didn't waste even a nickel on a pricy newspaper obituary, as she was a very frugal person.
There's no reason to regret your decision, especially if your loved one would have been appalled by the cost.
Prices start at $1.25/word“. See the difference between the two? First paper charges $20 for a one column 575 word obituary; the second paper would charge $718.75 for the very same ad. We were horrified at the money made by charging grieving families exorbitant prices. We went with the local paper.
Today, in the grand scheme of things, an obituary is probably not worth it - certainly not when it is running into 4 digits! Fewer people buy/read papers now and if one lives long enough, there may not be anyone left out there who would even know you, outside of immediate family! Most likely the original reason for having obits was to let others know - before phones, the internet, social media, etc, it would be the quickest way to let others know. These days, word can travel faster by other means.
The page at the following link isn't dated, so no idea how old the post is, but prices were all over the place, depending on location (they checked various areas and compared prices for short, long and pictures added):
https://www.legacy.com/faq/how-much-does-an-obituary-cost/
I have no idea how much mom's obit cost, as it was included in her pre-need burial payment. On some level it was probably not even necessary. She was 97, all her and dad's siblings and dad were gone. There are various cousins around, but we haven't had contact with most of them in MANY years! Most likely all her friends were gone too. I don't really do social media and there was no extra charge, so I went ahead with it. Legacy.com actually has it also - it shows the name of the newspaper and the funeral home name. I notified those I did have contact info for via email and/or text. Same with our burial plans. She was cremated, didn't want to deal with a 2+ hour drive in snow, so I opted to have the burial when spring arrived!
The first lookup to see how the prices are calculated showed her favored newspaper's cost starts at $129.95 - no indication of how many words, characters or if a picture was included (the top link showed update 5 days ago, but the actual page has MANY papers listed.) In the detail after clicking on it, only the starting cost is listed along with size limits for picture.)
I certainly could care less if someone posted my passing, either online or in a paper. Those who need to know will know. Very very small circle... I don't want my kids planning for any kind of "memorial" either. Celebrate! Ding Dong the witch is dead? Why spend all that money on something that really doesn't matter? Have a beer and raise a glass to me and be done with it. Ensure any kitties left are taken back to the shelter they came from.
We simply had a family gathering, where we shared photos and thoughts. Please don't worry about newspaper obits. Please don't feel guilty about not having a newspaper obituary.
If it had gone into the daily paper it would have been 2-3 times more.
I was shocked, but I did not say anything to Mum and his daughter, I just paid it. They had written the Obit, and I was not going to edit it.
May God give you and your family grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.
You will not regret doing an online obit., we live in a day when just about everything is done electronically. It is completely acceptable.
We placed two obituaries for my dad -- one in their local paper which ran it on the front page due to his status in the community for free, and the other in the wider-circulated area newspaper. That one was cut down substantially, and it cost $575. I certainly won't do that for my mother who holds similar status in the community, and I'll rely on spreading the word outside of their town by other ways.
I'll chime in on the other side of the argument for not placing an obituary, though. As someone who does genealogy work, obituaries are absolutely invaluable for research and tracking family histories. They contain valuable information including dates of birth and death, names of parents, children, and grandchildren, and more than once an obituary has been the key piece of information that clarified for me if a person I was chasing down was the correct one. (I come from a family with a fairly common surname, and as every man of English descent in the 19th century was named James, Robert, or William, I'm often chasing down the wrong James, Robert or William.)
Obituaries are an important part of our history, and it seems the only way you can get one to show up for all time on Legacy.com is by having one in a larger paper. Legacy also doesn't subscribe to all newspapers, so the more detailed one on my dad from his hometown paper isn't the one they picked up. It was the one from the more widely circulated paper instead.
If nothing else, write out an obituary for your wife with all the pertinent details and have copies made for everyone in the family. Keep one on the computer. While you're at it, write down your own information so your family has the correct names and dates and places, because obituaries are also not foolproof. My great-grandfather was born in 1853, but somewhere around 1900 his birth date turned into 1857 and became accepted information to the extent that his obituary and even his headstone have the incorrect year on them. You'd think his own wife knew the year he was born, but apparently not. Children, too, will surprise you with how little they know about their own parents. My husband is never sure who was older by a year -- his mom or dad -- and when they were even born.
As for people knowing you'll be off at a funeral on a particular time and day, we just let the police in my folks' town know that the house would be empty at that time, and they patrolled their street more during those hours. I think the scammer thing is a bit more of a legend than actual fact, but it's easily prevented nonetheless.