The Silent Generation, the Boomer and the Gen X. How do you deal?
My grandma is the sweetest old lady but she is 101. I call her a few times a week to check in and discuss the Netflix shows. So today, she was on politics and I love getting her worked up but she knows I am kidding. Stimulus payments were brought up, at that point she kinda admitted she can't balance a checkbook and relies on her small town bank teller. I called S, my mother (we don't use mom, dad, etc) and I told her about my grandma.
So there was a disagreement/fight which was her blah, blah making choices and me telling her to grow the f*ck up and to take of sh!t. I called my aunt, a flake, I don't know about her, she's a trip.
Like I said my grandma is the sweetest person alive but needs "help" in my opinion. S and my aunt, just excuses why I can't. No, I do not expect them to caregive but guide gma to resources.
Do I just tell them both my real opinion of their actions and take care of it myself or make them recognize and work together for gmas best interest?
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My aunt is a flake, as I said. S is what pisses me off. Unfortunately, I am not my sister or my cousins so I remember things as the oldest they do not. Her exact words were, "I will check into it but she wont talk and hides thing."
So when my Grandpa was dying, I had POA. From 2002, to the present, can I deal with their guilt, yep. Is this a sword to die on, yep. They can take responsibilty or stfu.
Againx100, so you understand my family dynamics, I am kinda out there in the respect, I find my aunt and S weak. I really do not play or understand why they are mean to my grandma when all she has ever done was watch her grand and great grand kids so they could have a life.
If you think grandma needs more help and you're up for it, you could always do more and help her get the help she needs. Or just let things continue as they are. Not being able to balance your checkbook is not the worst of things.
I mean that would be my choice for myself. I just have pretty much an attitude of "what I can stay out of I stay out of". That is to say, if I am not the POA, if someone else is, I might just back away.
I can't imagine a 101 year old who can discuss Netflix, let alone one who knows if the stimulus payment is in. I don't know if MINE is. Last time they sent a check. This time, if they sent it, I won't know until my statement comes in a full month from now (just got one).
And I don't know, if all is going well for Grandma, and for her daughter, your Mom, if I wouldn't just let well enough alone. But that's me.
I admire that you're in touch with your Grandmother, and you two can share stuff. At 101 I don't even imagine I can use the "clicker" as I call the remote that controls the TV. I can barely do it at 78.
There are those of us who always confront, and there are those of us who run from ANY confrontation, until forced into one. Count me as the latter.
I DO think that your generation whatever is fun. My partner and I have long rented out our lower unit, and to different generations. And they ARE different, and it is of such "interest" to us.