My dad has been diagnosed with dementia. I was told he would no longer be able to care for himself. I tried to have elder care come to his home and give him aide to continue living on his own, but he refused the help, often not letting anyone in. I live over an hour away and it was getting to be too much for me to just stop what I was doing to go help with whatever his need was at that time. I had to take him to urgent care because he became extremely paranoid, he was sleeping with a knife under his pillow because he thought the other tenants in the 3 family home where he lived were breaking into his apartment and taking his things. He lived on the third floor and said he would escape out onto the fire escape if needed to. His landlord felt he was getting too unsafe to live there. The landlord feared for the other tenants, so he began the eviction process. After spending close to two weeks in the hospital, the hospital strongly urged he go into a long term care facility. I just wasn't able to take him in, my home just isn't big enough, and I still have three children at home. I found a NH that I really like and know that he is in good care and safe, but I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for having to place him there. I have 3 sisters who have not spoken to him in over 20 years, so I ultimately was the only one who could make this decision.
So, sorry, what exactly do you have to feel guilty about?