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such a sad time in life of course when your partner is ageing so are you.my hubby and i have agreed to look after the other to the best of our abilities.but if for 1 reason or other if it becomes too difficult to place the other in the best care they can find.
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qmnpxl I know how you feel my husband had the same but he cold take no more and passed away last week. Have to have a postmortem and awaiting the results. He looked really peaceful but I am devastated can not believe what has happened I am still in shock
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Good for you!
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I'm not really well. One of my biggest fears is that my husband or children will kill themselves trying to help me. I'm not so far gone, yet, that I can't do most things for myself but I can see it coming.

I took care of my mom in her last years. At one point, I had to place her in assisting living, then memory care, then a nursing home. Even with that, it took a physical toll on me. She would want you to live. You can still be there for her, but not at the cost of your life.
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Exactly what I hope happens for everyone I love (including me) in their aging process - a decision made with logic and a huge amount of love. Can't get more honorable than that.
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You are very brave to do the right thing. I lost my dear husband on June 22, 2019. He was suffering from advanced stage Alzheimer's and in March of this year was diagnosed with throat cancer. The last few days of his life I could see that I could not care for him if he had lived any longer. My son moved in to help with his care and it was difficult even then. My son and I have injured our backs from lifting and moving him in the bed. My husband passed away before the decision was made to move him into a care facility. Please don't feel quilty. No one knows the feelings you are having unless they walk the mile in your shoes. God bless you.
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My heart both aches, and soars, for you. Your wife is blessed to have such a loving husband, and also one who recognizes what he can do, and be, for her and what he cannot. She will receive the care she needs in AL, and you can be relieved of all you could no longer do or provide for her. Sending hugs for comfort and peace to you both.
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Everyone is different and handle so much. Couldn't you fought to keep her home. Could you hire people or perhaps look into aides? Could you got family involved to help out?
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Isthisrealyreal Jul 2019
You are kidding, right? Could you possibly be any more clueless how ignorant your response is?

This man did everything possible to care for his wife and when she needed a village he loved her enough to provide that and you come along with your judgmental snotty attitude and question him.

Couldn't you just learn to shut up?
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You're a true gentleman. I am keeping you and your sweet wife in my prayers. God Bless you.
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This is such a difficult and sad time for you both, Your love for her allowed you to get her the skilled care that she needs. Many hugs and prayers being sent your way, 🤗❤️
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If you are concerned that your tears stopped that day, please do not feel bad. As with my husband I lived with him for the 6-7 years that he declined with Alzheimer's also. During that time I experienced losing him every week, little by little. In affect, he was dying little by little since it went so fast. Placing her in a place where she got the care you could not give her was an act of love. She now has others who will care for her better than you did as safely as you could. I am now in a wheelchair and I hesitate to think of the poor care I would have been able to give if he was still alive now. Yes you will think of her still as I do for my husband, but love is doing your best for the one you married years ago. My sympathies to you.
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Hey Jesse2you - No offense taken. It’s a natural question - don’t beat yourself up. 

In print it might look like a sudden decision but it incorporated many considerations, discussions and experiences over a long time. There’s lots of family, medical people, police, day care staff and friends, neighbors and even one stranger just passing by whose help and support were freely given. Instantly when necessary. 

I did what had to be done.
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You didn't do anything wrong you did the right thing. I am a personal caregiver I do in-home personal care and I see this all the time. With families there's just nothing more that they can give. It was time for her to have 24 hour care and be in a safe environment if you could not hire someone to live in your home and watch her.
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I was at the Alzheimer’s conference this week and one of the Dr.s quoted Glen Campbell’s wife who talked about their transition to care as them both “joining a memory community”. I loved that verbiage of expanding your network to include more people who can and will care for you and your wife. I’m glad you feel peace in this transition.
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You did your best. God bless you both in this new chapter of your life.
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its a hard thing to do,, but she'll be better off there.. as long as you keep watch, be there when and as often as you can. you cant do it all anymore and its not in her best interest. had to do this with my mom... and she did good.. new faces, things to do.. and you can get rested and be better for her.
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