Ok, My mom had a stroke on Monday of this past week. This is her second one in about two years, however this one is more severe than her last one. This stroke has left her with a lot of physical issues, including extreme weakness on her right side and fatigue. She isn't able to feed herself, walk without assistance or do much of anything involving her right arm or leg. Her speech is extremely difficult to understand (very slurred, no aphasia just issues with physically moving her mouth to speak).
My father is disabled as well, requiring help bathing, walking, as well as having dialysis 3x per week (and being unable to drive himself). I am their sole caregiver, and I simply can not do it all at this point. She absolutely refuses to allow me to help with some tasks (eating, bathroom, bathing), preferring instead to go without rather than actually ask for assistance (I offer, I try to help, she will refuse to let me).
She was released to an Acute Therapy Hospital in a large town nearby (about an hours drive from home). She did not want to go and refuses to believe that being at home is not the best thing for her right now. She was at the hospital for less than an hour by herself before she called me insisting that I be there at 10am tomorrow (Saturday) morning to pick her up and "bring her home". She doesn't like the way the nurse handled her shower tonight (basically gave too much assistance, didn't let her do enough on her own), so she says that she will not stay there and that if someone is not there to pick her up, she will call a taxi to do it.
I'm at a complete loss on what to do here. She *needs* the therapy that they can give, and 'at home' therapists isn't an option due to the severity of her condition at the moment. They offer intensive therapy (speech, occupational and physical therapies) in a setting that is not available locally. There *is* a care hospital locally, but they are not as intensive, and would require her to stay longer in the facility.
Has anyone had to deal with a similar situation? I'm really not sure how to handle this situation, especially with it being over the weekend. Do I bring her back to our hometown? Can she be transferred to the rehab center locally or would I have to take her back to the hospital? Is it even possible to have her transferred at this point?
I called first thing when I woke up and spoke with both the Patient Advocate (in hospital social worker) and the charge nurse for my mother. They are aware of how she is, and both went to talk to her. It seems that the *MAIN* problem she had last night was that the nurse was difficult to understand (she was very sweet but had a very heavy accent), and that she was having trouble understanding Mom, so there was some miscommunication that got her very, very upset. That combined with the 2 hour drive (in horrible traffic) and her not sleeping much, and just nerves at being in a new place was just a bad combination that led to her panicking.
She is doing better this morning, she's met her speech therapist and the physical therapist (occupational therapy won't be in to see her til later this afternoon), and my brother will be going up there first thing tomorrow to spend the day with her (and take her a few things she needs to be more comfortable, her own pillows, a nightshirt, things like that). She's agreed to stay there for now, and actually told me that she was just upset because the nurse was rough in handling her (during the shower). That nurse won't be dealing with mom anymore (the one with the accent), so there's little chance of that becoming an issue again. They've all been made aware of her mental issues, and they have been very understanding about everything.
She has agreed to stay the minimum of 2 weeks for now, after that time they might recommend that she stay a bit longer or they might transfer her closer to home (or discharge her to home).
So for now, all is good.
You've gotten good advice above, so I'd go with that. Stick to your guns and do NOT bring your mom home or move her until she's done with her more extensive rehab in her current facility. You're too young to be dealing with this all by yourself! Get as much help as you can, because given your parents' assumed ages (since you're only 34), you could be doing this for a long time.
Most rehabs have no therapy on Sundays and at the most very limited therapy on Saturday. This will give her a chance to rest. Then she will be more ready for the real therapy on Monday.
Your info doesn't have any background on your Mom. Her age and anyhealth issues for example. But truly, her meltdown doesn't mean you should cave from what you know is right for her. No one at the rehab will allow her to 'hail a cab'. And as Eyerishlass said, how would she ever do that? Keep us posted.
Because she's so physically disabled from the stroke I doubt that she'd be able to drag her half-paralyzed body to the entrance to hail a taxi but you certainly don't want her to try.
Alert the staff about her desire to leave.
After her hospitalization and rehab what's next? I hope you don't plan on taking care of both of your parents.