Moved in and rented our house in 2010 to care for my Dad with Alz. He died after 6 months and we are still with my Mom.. We have another home 650 miles away where we would “escape” for our mental health for 6 weeks then back for 2 weeks.. Now we are afraid to leave her alone as she is exhausted with any exertion.. Lots of complaining and negativity and it’s so challenging!!
She lived independently until a few weeks prior to her death. She lived alone and only in the last few weeks she needed home support, a commode etc.
Have you looked into hospice? What about Respite care?
Hope you will update us.
Your mom can't really be left alone anymore with a chronic condition such as CLL. Her exhaustion levels are likely to worsen as the cancer progresses, and treatment will probably be necessary as well.
"She" doesn't really need to know all the details of her illness, however, YOU do. Have a consultation with her doctor to see what s/he recommends as far as treatments, daily care, etc. She may need to go into a Skilled Nursing Facility or else have caregivers come into the home every day.
Learn all you can about her condition and consult with her doctors as well, that's what I'd do.
Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
Negativity and complaining are soooo draining. Gives you burnout in a minute!
OK, she can't be left alone yet you need and deserve time away from being a caregiver. The options include things like:
hiring an aide a few hours a day to give you a break
hiring aides for longer hours
putting her in a facility for X weeks for respite care
putting her in a facility full time
What would be best for you and what level of care does she need? It is likely she will be resistant to anything you suggest so you really need to decide what you are and are not willing and able to do.
Good luck.