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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Wendi, sorry to be so blunt, but if I recall correctly this was raised in your other post, and I see it's still an issue.
I think you have basically 2 choices: continue to allow him to refuse to help himself, or back off and force him to help himself....given that hiring someone is not an option.
Being even more blunt, he could be manipulative, could be an old time chauvinist, could be depressed...or there could be other options, including that he's lost interest in life.
And along the blunt line, continuing to subdue your own needs is going to cause you to end up like others here - if not angry, possibly depressed, possibly ill with your own health problems, possibly feeling trapped... and other undesirable reactions.
Do some searching on caregiver burnout and read how others are losing their own quality of life, their health, their desire to continue caregiving, and sometimes even beyond that to being consumed by negative thoughts and depression. Is that where you want to be?
I would imagine it's difficult to change the ways of an old fashioned man who wants his wife to wait on him w/o contributing to his own self care, but his compromised health demands he assume some responsibility and balance out the care load.
I think seeing some kind of counselor might help reinforce the need to view YOU have the same need for care that he does.
My husband is of sound mind, but he refuses to help himself....guess he's old school. But what has happened is that I am delaying all my needs in order to take care of him and it's beginning to catch up with me. I would hire an RN as I've been told by several care agencies that that is the only one that could do this service, but it's just too expensive.......it is not paid for by any insurance......
Wendi, does your husband have dementia or some other kind of impairment that keeps him form being able to help himself? I think all of us singles who care for someone vulnerable worry about what would happen to them if we suddenly become ill or unable to be there for some other reason. Although I have a sister an hour away my fallback has always been the local hospital, and from there most likely a nursing home, in either a respite or crisis bed.
Yes, GardenArtist......I guess that is still my concern......I guess I didn't word it properly. I know how to use the tube, but my concern centers around the idea that I am not a young woman and I honestly have put my needs to the back, but I really do need to take care of a couple that will mean an interruption in my ability to do the tube feedings. Unfortunately, family does not live close by and nobody else wants to do this.....I do have to adhere to a very strict schedule in order to administer all the food, water and meds. I realize this might be a hopeless situation and I may just have to live with it. Guess I just wanted a little sympathy.......sorry......
Wendy, what is your question? You posted earlier when it appeared as though you were concerned about the actual tube feeding, but it seemed from your last post that your concern was more about what would happen to your husband if you became unavailable. Is that the gist of your question now - options for your husband given your financial situation and the possibility of your not being available to care for him?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think you have basically 2 choices: continue to allow him to refuse to help himself, or back off and force him to help himself....given that hiring someone is not an option.
Being even more blunt, he could be manipulative, could be an old time chauvinist, could be depressed...or there could be other options, including that he's lost interest in life.
And along the blunt line, continuing to subdue your own needs is going to cause you to end up like others here - if not angry, possibly depressed, possibly ill with your own health problems, possibly feeling trapped... and other undesirable reactions.
Do some searching on caregiver burnout and read how others are losing their own quality of life, their health, their desire to continue caregiving, and sometimes even beyond that to being consumed by negative thoughts and depression. Is that where you want to be?
I would imagine it's difficult to change the ways of an old fashioned man who wants his wife to wait on him w/o contributing to his own self care, but his compromised health demands he assume some responsibility and balance out the care load.
I think seeing some kind of counselor might help reinforce the need to view YOU have the same need for care that he does.
I think all of us singles who care for someone vulnerable worry about what would happen to them if we suddenly become ill or unable to be there for some other reason. Although I have a sister an hour away my fallback has always been the local hospital, and from there most likely a nursing home, in either a respite or crisis bed.
(Earlier post:
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-to-tube-feed-198476.htm)