I have a 19 year old son with disabilities and seizures. He requires one on one supervision at all times. I like to get him out into the community and he has the right to be out in the community. When a bathroom need arises for either me or him, I take him into the handicap stall in the women's restroom. It is private for us as well as everyone else in the restroom. Recently I have been told by his disability service provider that their respite caregivers who are women are not allowed to take him into the women's room. Also, they cannot take him into the men's room and so they will only take him where there are family restrooms. This is very limiting and not fair to him. I would like to understand his rights.
As far as the rest room I used to send him in the mens room and hover around the outside door. As he has declined I now make sure he goes before we go out, use family rest rooms and take him in the womens handicap when necessary. I am my brothers full guardian, the agencies have to deal with me. He has a right to use his name and a right to use whatever rest room is necessary.
The people with the problem are the caregivers that you hire. It is their policy, ask them how they deal with the situation. If they have no answer, then perhaps he should stay home on the day that those caregivers are there. Make a list, whenever you run across one, of places that have individual restrooms (one person at a time) and share that list with the caregiver. Perhaps they can limit themselves to those places. I'm just spitballing here. Don't really know your town or where you take your son. It's nice that you want to get him out, I'm just saying that if it's a one day a week thing for you to have a respite caregiver, that perhaps that one day they stay home. If it's more than that, give them a list of places that have appropriate restrooms.
What in the world are you supposed to do when this respite service says that your son can't use the women's OR the men's room? That is totally unrealistic and unfair. What did THEY suggest you do?
I never used the restroom when I was out with my dad. I'd go before we left and I'd have him go before we left but his bladder was 79 years old and wasn't what it used to be. Me, I have a super-bladder and I can go hours upon hours upon hours without needing a restroom so using the restroom while out with my dad was never a problem.
This is a real pickle you have here and I'm outraged for you. If you weren't prohibited from using the restroom at all I'd suggest the men's room for you and your son. Men use the restroom and they're in and out. Women linger, check their makeup and so forth. And men aren't likely to go and complain to someone whereas I think women would be if you come across some unfeeling, uncompassionate, miserable old biddy.
I'd love to know what exactly this service suggests you do.