All paperwork has been completed and on "the list"(apparently priority). In the last week I've made 21 phone calls just to be offered 7 hrs help, not when I choose as her live-in caregiver, 1 hr a day random PSW (won't work for mum as she has recently become culturally biased). We already have an amazing caregiver through a private agency for 25 hrs a week but those hours can't be increased by the 7 more (that I would not have to pay for). Hmmmm....What to do?
I discovered that in order to find placement in a hurry you need to get bumped from the general lists to the crisis list - having a good relationship with my care manager and calling them weeping that I was done and just can't do it anymore got my mom placement in weeks rather than months/years. (Mind you I was caring full time for a woman who had high needs for several years before that point)
Also... be willing to put her on the list for more than your preferred nursing homes, those with 2 year wait lists aren't going to do you any good. You can always move to your preferred home when space opens up.
Ask about respite beds.
I've never understood the people who turn up their nose or even completely reject the caregiver services provided without cost. I agree they are often not ideal but they are better than nothing and they can take some of the burden off both you and your other paid helpers.