I was told to obtain a guardianship order for my wife. I don't have time with all of her care. Is there a way around this?

Well said Country Mouse you deserve sip of sherry for that. You have put a lot of time and effort into researching this for Colin I hope he appreciates it.

Well Countrymouse, I would like to say from the beginning, that I belong to every brain injury group on LinkedIn and many others, including conversing with brain injury victims some of them I consider now as friends, I know all of the latest findings on brain injury some of them threw lawyers some of them from consultants on brain injury.

Well I had to take my wife to Fore Street Edmonton every month to see a psychiatrist, I was told by experts on brain injury that it's pathetic, she should be going to rehabilitation, anyway one month they had a psychologist and a neuropsychologist there to make a report on my wife, the neuropsychologist sent us to Queens Square London to see another neuropsychologist I take it she must be her superior to verify her findings, that is when this neuropsychologist told me the whole scenario was disgraceful.

I believe you wanted to know about her admittance, she was flown by air ambulance to the Royal London and finally discharge to Barts Hospital as an outpatient, I must say the parking for these hospitals is £4 an hour a night mare, every day I had to obtain £20 in pound coins, you have to be pretty rich to be hit by falling washing machine these days.

Well you have asked a very interesting question, yes who was coordinating my wife's post discharge care? I presume it must be the neurosurgeon that was in charge of her case, and also the expert witness who works at Harley Street for huge corporations. If you take a look at her discharge papers from the Royal London you can see that nobody wanted to be responsible for her discharge, it is totally incomprehensible.

Countrymouse, another good question (her rehab) well when the solicitor and his buddy, The Official Solicitor ended the case in 2006 about several weeks later we had an appointment from Edgware Road hospital, saying due to your wife's recent accident, well I phone the hospital to say it wasn't a recent accident, it took place on 5 April 2003, she said there was nothing about it on the records she thought my wife had just recently had the accident. I must add they were wonderful psychologists that we saw extremely understanding and bewildered about our case.

We decided that my wife was not going to stay there for 6 weeks, we can no longer trust whom ever is in charge of her case, I probably would end up with a dead wife.

Countrymouse, I ran a business involving building and maintenance for 23 years, and specialise in plumbing and electrical, I do not claim to know the workings of a hospital or how solicitors should orchestrate themselves, you must remember in 1 second my life turned into a turmoil, I had agreed contracts that had been waiting for a year, thank God a lot of my customers are also my friends, some of the work had to go, I had to employ an extra person to help me clear what I had already started and close the business.

Countrymouse, by the way as a boiler engineer at the time with full qualifications, I personally would not fit a boiler that has been tampered with, for the reason I could have spent a couple of hours on it and decided I could not guarantee its full duration, would it be fair to the customer I have too asked myself, so my policy is I would only fit a new system if I took it out the box myself, therefore the customer and my insurers would have a fair deal.

If I read this right, you removed her from hospital Against Medical Advice? You conducted a campaign for justice on social media? And now you wonder why solicitors drop you in short order? And you wonder why she is a Ward of the State? Is there a sibling of hers or an adult child who can serve as her Guardian to satisfy the courts?

Countrymouse, did you say you would not put your mother into residential care unless she chooses it. Well it all depends does she own her own property especially if it is a big one.

Well Countrymouse, I will have to beg to differ to your views. I believe my marriage laws plays a role in this matter, before any of us heard of the Court of protection or the mental capacity act 2005 we have managed to get on pretty well without it, and the controversy it has caused brings it into question, and I also wonder where did we get this idea from, could it have been the USA?

I wonder why do we pounce on their corrupted laws, but choose to ignore some of their very best.

Can you find any common law stating that a husband does not have any right to his wife's affairs if she is incapacitated, well I have been looking for this law but I cannot see it in writing?

Well I have a saying, let the thieves steal from their own, and leave others alone.

pstiegman hi, wow. Where did you read that, are you sure you are on the right thread.

Colin, how will any of those links help Mary in real life? I wish you both all the best.

Countrymouse, I have been here next to my wife all night, she wakes up randomly throughout the night and needs me there to reassure her that everything is all right, I am here next to her so she has nothing to worry about, taking her at intervals to the toilet and helping her with what is required. I can assure you that my wife cannot receive any better care than what she receives from me.

I would give up my life to care and protect her, something that you cannot expect out of an ordinary carer. My wife used to work for several care homes one of which, a carer was killing off the elderly patient, my wife kept saying to me it's scary there I don't want to work there any longer. We found out several weeks later that a male carer was knocking off some of the patients on the news. The ironic thing was at the end of the road was Potters Bar police station.

Well a change to take place for the court of protection, I must say thanks to the people that have been fighting hard to obtain justice for their loved ones. Well it is also ironic that our barrister comes from 39 Essex Street chambers,

Well I don't expect these people to release our money, as you see a small proportion owing is Mary's the large proportion owing is mine, the closure of my business and caring for her for the rest of her life.

Good luck to Sir James with his wish-list. If you imagine it will make much difference in reality you are living in a dream world where nothing has been learned from history.

Colin, your devotion is touching; but, QED, it has been ineffectual, not to say counterproductive. Besides which, what happens to Mary if something happens to you? Rethink your support network. Again, I wish you both well.

Countrymouse, well I can see where you're coming from now.

Well it is not in my persona to bring it to that equation, but you're right in some ways.

What happens to Mary if something happens to me, well you can say that about all of us?

I did consider that, I approach Mary's ex-husband he is the only friend we have now, people just don't want to get involved with someone in Mary's situation, but I managed to keep our relationship amicable with each other I was hoping if anything happen to me he would take over.

Without saying anything to him, he said to me you better take care of yourself because Mary will go straight into a home. Wow…. he said I cannot deal with anything like that, the way she is she would probably stay in a room. Surprisingly he went on to say when he was visiting his dad when he was alive he messed himself, but he told his dad I have to go now I can't deal with anything like that.

Well I suppose we're all different to each other, but I guess if I went she would be in the hands of our creator, I cannot see my sons taking responsibility but I'm sure that they will make sure she is taken care of.

My ex-wife tends to cry with anything like this, she had moved to the seaside near Ramsgate, she said to me it is times like this I wish I was back in London, she is retired now but I'm sure if she was local she would help, being a carer herself for many years she understands the ins and outs of caring and the problems when you depend on other people.

Countrymouse, I am sorry to see you have given up on me, but anyway I would like to thank you for trying to help, and participating in the matter.

Colin

Colin, what I've given up is any hope of getting to the point of what you would like to achieve.

Actually I have been thinking that what you need is an advocate. But who you could persuade to take on the role, especially since you have seem to have trouble trusting anyone in an official position, is a difficult question. I assume you've no faith in social services; what about PALS? I also assume that you've had the CAB running for cover long ago; but you could always approach them and ask; the worst that can happen is that they say no. But it's always going to be true: unless you're clear in your own mind about what you're expecting and would like to happen, how can anyone help you?

In any case, if you do decide to ask someone to act as your advocate, please remember that any person prepared to do it will be a working professional with only 24 hours in the day. It may be distressing when people don't seem to take time to listen, but they simply haven't got that time: they need to get on with whatever it is you're expecting them to do.

Write down a factual summary sheet, stating events, decisions, parties directly involved, facts and numbers, get it down in date order. Do not wander off the point. Do not include your opinion of the legal and medical professions. For God's sake do not treat them to your personal thesis on brain injury. Anyone trying to help you achieve anything is going to need to see clearly what has happened in fact, not hypotheses and suppositions; and they simply will not have time to mine the data for themselves. Do not omit incidents where you worry that people might think, correctly or otherwise, that you yourself made an unwise move; even if your advocate does think you have at times been in the wrong, that will not stop him or her wanting to help you move forward from here, and he or she needs to have that information too.

If you grit your teeth and go through the guardianship process, Mary's money will be available for spending on her - but you will have to follow all guidance to the letter, like it or not, or it'll be out of your hands again so fast it'll make your head swim.

Your own compensation: it's a guess, but is this tied up in a dispute about costs? If so, you might as well wave it goodbye. Then the worst that can happen is that you're pleasantly surprised if there is anything left at the end of the dispute (we should live so long…).

I'm sorry that I can't help. I hope you'll find someone who can. Best wishes to you both,

Colin in a previous post you stated that the money now tied up is partly Mary's but a large amount is due to you for the losses you have sustained in giving up your life to devote to caring for your wife.
I have not heard of anyone on this site say they are caring for a loved one or a relative they feel a duty towards, for MONEY. yes there are some out there who try and succeed in skimming the cream off the estate and dumping the relative in a NH on Medicaid. But most stories relate to the financial sacrifices that caregivers make
We don't know you so can not judge your motives harsh as this sounds, we can not talk to Mary. In the present circumstances her care is assured whether you like the methods or not. You have said no one else would care for Mary so what happens if you are struck by lightening? Good care is expensive but thank God or Costco the money is there for her comfort
Mary is the one who had her life ruined with no prospect of recovery the money is available for her personal care for the rest of her life. Did you sue Costco for the loss of Mary as a wife?
I would feel more sympathy if you said you needed money to make alterations to the house for Mary's comfort, maybe a spa, motorized wheel chair of other advanced medical equipment. You are simply trying to have Mary declared incompetent to get your hands on her money. Can you justify your position?
I do not know how we could help here if you have already invested $400K fighting authorities. I think this is what CM is also trying to understand.

Wow Veronica91, extremely hard words. I did not realize that you had posted this thread here.

I hope such a nightmare like this never happened to you, in one second I lost my wife, and became a 24/7 carer, an establish business for nearly 20 years I had to close it, lost all of our friends and neighbors, had to distance ourselves from everyone to save them the embarrassment of making excuses why they could not help, currently we are both surviving on our pensions.

Well as far as this big money I'm after, I have managed to spend all of our lives savings, both my parents have died since and using what they had left me from their estate.

I am yet to see the money that is suppose to be due to us for this nightmare of this horrific incident, I realize when this is all over, if I survive I have to obtain justice from this pathetic legal and judicial system, please forgive my soul and don't think for a moment that money played any importance in this scenario, if it had I would have dropped all of my responsibilities to my wife and pursue the money due to us.

Veronica91, you say you don't know us well if you bother to Google colinberry1 there is enough of information on the Internet about us and our family, but as for Veronica91, you could even be Costco's solicitors for all I know. If you at all interested in our situation, there is everything about me on my pearltree,

Hope you fell better now Colin.

Well the interesting thing about life, the truth shall set you free, unfortunately due to the pressures I'm under, I had a stroke but still carrying on taking care of my wife, still loving her as much as I ever have with no regrets. but I feel that there is an education to be learned here, we all somehow are victims to the way life is on this planet.

I would like to give you this advice, https://youtu.be /TB0k7wBzXPY in case the link is remove, Google this (I am FishHead) we have all been victims and have paid a dear price for our ignorance, but let's try not to take that ignorance to our graves with us.