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I don't know a lot about hpd, but npd comes with a streak of mean rooted in excessively high self esteem whereas bpd rage is rooted in severe low self image and fear of abandonment combined with emotional disregulation. That is even the smallest statement is perceived as a criticism and feels like an attack on the very essence of the person's being. Constant creation of chaos and crisis ensures they are not abandoned.
I just read Daughter's listing of "Beck's Histrionic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs" and realized this is a close cousin of mine. I could never figure out what his issue was but knew he was not "normal" (although very high functioning -- even married with 2 daughters). His secret nickname is "Hurricane Joe" because when he blows into town he is all noise and activity and excess and touching and commenting and and and ... exhausting. He cannot NOT be the center of attention.
The wiki page on HPD goes into more detail and I was blown away by how exact the description matches him 100% -- even down to the cause being an authoritarian or distant attitude Mother (or both parents), which he had (his parents both worked full time their whole lives in a large and successful business and he and siblings were raised by nannies. When he started "acting out" in school they sent him away to a military style bording school. Only 1 of their 4 kids grew up to be (seemingly) "normal" or well-adjusted (and I've known her all along and can attest to it).
wow. mystery of cousin Joe solved this morning. On this forum.
Beck's Borderline Personality Disorder, typical beliefs Other people must satisfy my needs No one would love me or want to be close to me if they really got to know me. I can't cope on my own. I need someone to rely on. I must subjugate my wants to the desires of others or they'll abandon me or attack me. People will hurt me, attack me, take advantage of me. I must protect myself. It isn't possible for me to control myself or discipline myself. I must control my emotions or something terrible will happen. No one is ever there to meet my needs, to be strong for me, to care for me borderline . Beck's Histrionic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs I need to impress In order to be happy I need other people to pay attention to me. Unless I entertain or impress people, I am nothing. If I don't keep others engaged with me, they won't like me. The way to get what I want is to dazzle or amuse people. It is awful for people to ignore me. I should be the center of attention. If I entertain people, they will not notice my weaknesses. People will pay attention only if I act in extreme ways histrionic . Beck's Narcissistic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs I am special Since I am so superior, I am entitled to special treatment and privileges. I don't have to be bound by the rules that apply to other people. If others don't respect my status, they should be punished. Other people should satisfy my needs. Other people should recognize how special I am. Since I am so talented, people should go out of their way to promote my career. No one's needs should interfere with my own
The difference? That's easily looked up online as to what each condition is, and I will leave it to you. We all know I am wordy, but not THAT wordy.
I think what we see here on Aging Care Forum is a lot of armchair diagnosing and the one most common is Narcissistic disorder. Basically people tend to label anyone they disagree with as a narcissist. The fact is, however, that fewer than 5% of the population is diagnosed with this disorder (perhaps they are ALL on AC?). It isn't as simple as a "selfish-granny". It is a real diagnosis of a personality disorder.
Because these diagnoses sort of lap and overlap some psychiatrists have taken to using "borderline personality disorder" and other catch-alls.
So, have someone you hate? Want a label for their self-agrandizing, selfish behavior? Just say "Narcissistic tendencies".
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The wiki page on HPD goes into more detail and I was blown away by how exact the description matches him 100% -- even down to the cause being an authoritarian or distant attitude Mother (or both parents), which he had (his parents both worked full time their whole lives in a large and successful business and he and siblings were raised by nannies. When he started "acting out" in school they sent him away to a military style bording school. Only 1 of their 4 kids grew up to be (seemingly) "normal" or well-adjusted (and I've known her all along and can attest to it).
wow. mystery of cousin Joe solved this morning. On this forum.
Thanks for starting this post, Karsten!
Other people must satisfy my needs
No one would love me or want to be close to me if they really got to know me.
I can't cope on my own. I need someone to rely on.
I must subjugate my wants to the desires of others or they'll abandon me or attack me.
People will hurt me, attack me, take advantage of me. I must protect myself.
It isn't possible for me to control myself or discipline myself.
I must control my emotions or something terrible will happen.
No one is ever there to meet my needs, to be strong for me, to care for me
borderline
.
Beck's Histrionic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs
I need to impress
In order to be happy I need other people to pay attention to me.
Unless I entertain or impress people, I am nothing.
If I don't keep others engaged with me, they won't like me.
The way to get what I want is to dazzle or amuse people.
It is awful for people to ignore me.
I should be the center of attention.
If I entertain people, they will not notice my weaknesses.
People will pay attention only if I act in extreme ways
histrionic
.
Beck's Narcissistic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs
I am special
Since I am so superior, I am entitled to special treatment and privileges.
I don't have to be bound by the rules that apply to other people.
If others don't respect my status, they should be punished.
Other people should satisfy my needs.
Other people should recognize how special I am.
Since I am so talented, people should go out of their way to promote my career.
No one's needs should interfere with my own
I think what we see here on Aging Care Forum is a lot of armchair diagnosing and the one most common is Narcissistic disorder. Basically people tend to label anyone they disagree with as a narcissist. The fact is, however, that fewer than 5% of the population is diagnosed with this disorder (perhaps they are ALL on AC?). It isn't as simple as a "selfish-granny". It is a real diagnosis of a personality disorder.
Because these diagnoses sort of lap and overlap some psychiatrists have taken to using "borderline personality disorder" and other catch-alls.
So, have someone you hate? Want a label for their self-agrandizing, selfish behavior? Just say "Narcissistic tendencies".