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In this forum, we often see the term narcissist. What are peoples' experiences with this and the difference between HPD and BPD

Is the answer…. 1 is President and the other is VP?
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Reply to igloo572
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I don't know a lot about hpd, but npd comes with a streak of mean rooted in excessively high self esteem whereas bpd rage is rooted in severe low self image and fear of abandonment combined with emotional disregulation. That is even the smallest statement is perceived as a criticism and feels like an attack on the very essence of the person's being. Constant creation of chaos and crisis ensures they are not abandoned.
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Reply to casole
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I just read Daughter's listing of "Beck's Histrionic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs" and realized this is a close cousin of mine. I could never figure out what his issue was but knew he was not "normal" (although very high functioning -- even married with 2 daughters). His secret nickname is "Hurricane Joe" because when he blows into town he is all noise and activity and excess and touching and commenting and and and ... exhausting. He cannot NOT be the center of attention.

The wiki page on HPD goes into more detail and I was blown away by how exact the description matches him 100% -- even down to the cause being an authoritarian or distant attitude Mother (or both parents), which he had (his parents both worked full time their whole lives in a large and successful business and he and siblings were raised by nannies. When he started "acting out" in school they sent him away to a military style bording school. Only 1 of their 4 kids grew up to be (seemingly) "normal" or well-adjusted (and I've known her all along and can attest to it).

wow. mystery of cousin Joe solved this morning. On this forum.

Thanks for starting this post, Karsten!
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Reply to Geaton777
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Beck's Borderline Personality Disorder, typical beliefs
Other people must satisfy my needs
No one would love me or want to be close to me if they really got to know me.
I can't cope on my own. I need someone to rely on.
I must subjugate my wants to the desires of others or they'll abandon me or attack me.
People will hurt me, attack me, take advantage of me. I must protect myself.
It isn't possible for me to control myself or discipline myself.
I must control my emotions or something terrible will happen.
No one is ever there to meet my needs, to be strong for me, to care for me
borderline
.
Beck's Histrionic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs
I need to impress
In order to be happy I need other people to pay attention to me.
Unless I entertain or impress people, I am nothing.
If I don't keep others engaged with me, they won't like me.
The way to get what I want is to dazzle or amuse people.
It is awful for people to ignore me.
I should be the center of attention.
If I entertain people, they will not notice my weaknesses.
People will pay attention only if I act in extreme ways
histrionic
.
Beck's Narcissistic Personality Disorder, typical beliefs
I am special
Since I am so superior, I am entitled to special treatment and privileges.
I don't have to be bound by the rules that apply to other people.
If others don't respect my status, they should be punished.
Other people should satisfy my needs.
Other people should recognize how special I am.
Since I am so talented, people should go out of their way to promote my career.
No one's needs should interfere with my own
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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AlvaDeer Mar 16, 2025
Daughterof1930, THANKS For posting this.
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The website Outofthefog.website explains these personality disorders in great detail.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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The difference? That's easily looked up online as to what each condition is, and I will leave it to you. We all know I am wordy, but not THAT wordy.

I think what we see here on Aging Care Forum is a lot of armchair diagnosing and the one most common is Narcissistic disorder. Basically people tend to label anyone they disagree with as a narcissist. The fact is, however, that fewer than 5% of the population is diagnosed with this disorder (perhaps they are ALL on AC?). It isn't as simple as a "selfish-granny". It is a real diagnosis of a personality disorder.

Because these diagnoses sort of lap and overlap some psychiatrists have taken to using "borderline personality disorder" and other catch-alls.

So, have someone you hate? Want a label for their self-agrandizing, selfish behavior? Just say "Narcissistic tendencies".
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Karsten Mar 15, 2025
or BPD or HPD
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